If Judas can make a comeback, can “Chainsaw” Al Dunlop, Dennis Kozlowski and Bernie Ebbers be far behind?

With the publication last week of an ancient text being called the ‘Gospel of Judas,’ the ultimate bad boy of the Bible is suddenly enjoying a complete image reversal.Judas

In the text, Judas apparently comes across as a devout follower who did anything but betray Christ with a quick peck on the cheek. If true, and if he were still alive, Mr. Iscariot would no doubt be making the rounds of all the morning talk shows, as well as Leno, Letterman and, of course, Oprah.

One can imagine the interview with Oprah…

Oprah: "OK, oK, calm down, ladies. Calm down. Jesus, I haven’t seen this much excitement since George Clooney was here a few months back. So, anyway, Judas, may I call you Judas?  Great. Tell me, how tough has it been for you these past two centuries, knowing deep down that you really were a good guy?"

Iscariot: "Difficult to be sure Oprah but, as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you tougher."

Oprah: "I hear you. That’s true, ladies, don’t you agree? So, anyway, Judas, darling, now that your gospel has been found and your image is totally turned around, what do you see yourself doing moving forward?"

Iscariot: "Well, my agent has already been in negotiations with several top companies and I’m blessed, absolutely blessed, with a couple of sweetheart deals."

Oprah: "Revelations. Please, we love revelations."

Iscariot: "The book?"

Oprah: "No, silly, we like gossip. Tell us about your deals."

Iscariot: "Well, Nike has signed me to endorse a new line of sandals, Bennigan’s has added a signature last supper item that I’ve created especially for them and, how cool and how smart is this? Chapstick is producing a Judas model for what they’re calling that ‘extra special kiss.’ I couldn’t be more pumped, Oprah."

Oprah: "Well, we’re pumped for you, Judas. Especially considering what you’ve gone through. You’re a good guy. Will you come back and see us again soon?"

Iscariot: "Absolutely, in fact, I’m planning on writing a sequel to my Gospel and hope to have that out around Labor Day. Maybe I can come on the show and talk about that?"

Oprah: "Fabulous. Just make sure you do some serious fact checking first. Don’t want any more James Frey debacles on my hands. Anyway, we’ll be right back in a minute with Samuel L. Jackson."

4 thoughts on “If Judas can make a comeback, can “Chainsaw” Al Dunlop, Dennis Kozlowski and Bernie Ebbers be far behind?

  1. Although few and far between, there are documented cases of Buddhist groups resorting to violence and war over the centuries…
    And yes, even Buddhists have been victims of hatred from other religious groups.
    I have to side with Ted on this one. Religion — something that is supposed to encourage the unity of the human race and promote morality — is often times the root cause of violence and bloodshed. As much as it gives people faith, it’s also an indirect source of many of the problems we face today. Religion itself is not the issue — it’s the ignorant people on this planet.

  2. Ted, I agree that religion is at the root of many of the problems in the world however when you say “all” religions, are you sure that is accurate? What about Buddhism? I can’t say I recall hearing about Buddhist fundamentalists or any Lama’s who have been accused of child abuse. Having said that, world religions are not my strong point. Maybe I’m wrong?

  3. Religion is the definition of hypocrisy – and for the record I’m including all religions not just Christianity. Religion is a root cause of war (take your pick!), hatred (think Israeli/Palestinian conflict), cover-up (think the newly discovered Gospel of Judas), crime (think Catholic Church molestation scandal), etc. Many people may find comfort and direction from their religion but too many people turn a blind eye to the hypocrisy of it all. Many religions would do wonders to their reputations if for once they admitted their shortcomings and attempted to practice what they all preach – that peace really is better than violence and that we all should treat our neighbor if they were thy own…

  4. The Da Vinci Code has taken on a life of its own and has folks world-wide convinced that Jesus was married and fathered a child. Anne “Queen of Vampires and All Things Devilish” Rice, has switched sides and now is writing about Christ’s emergence into puberty. And Judas was really a loyal bosom buddy. At least the Catholic Church has something in print besides priestly misbehavior.