Just when I thought TV content couldn’t possibly sink any lower, I happened to light on a new Sunday morning infomercial for a "two-part" cleansing solution intended to "free" the upper and lower intestines of unwanted fecal matter and generate stools with greater girth and length (just like the kind when you were a kid. Remember?).
The "inventor" of this product, who was joined on the Larry King-like talk show setting by a "doctor" and "health care store owner and nutritionist" said his product helped offset all of the harmful toxins and anti-oxidants that abound in our post-modern, post-industrial, global warming-beset environment. It does so by acting as a roto-rooter that scours the intestinal walls of the unwanted fecal matter that hangs out in there. As "proof" of his claim, the inventor said the pathologists who performed John Wayne’s autopsy found 44 pounds of fecal matter in the Duke’s intestines. This guy then claimed Wayne would have lived many years more if he’d only produced healthy daily dumps (I guess the Western star’s "personal production" didn’t have the desired girth and length it should have). One can only imagine what the Wayne’s family reaction to this drivel will be. Can you spell lawsuit?
While the average, semi-literate viewer will hopefully see this ruse for what it is, I wonder how many other, less astute consumers might be duped (especially since the inventor also claims his two-part solution is a great weight-loss solution since it cleans out an average of five to 10 pounds of unwanted nastiness every 30 days).
Where is the FCC in this shitstorm? Did someone in authority actually screen the segment? Is anyone awake at the wheel?
While there are so many upsides to a free enterprise system, it takes something like this to remind me that what the great 19th century showman P.T. Barnum said way back when still holds true today: "there’s a sucker born every minute."
They are still running this garbage. John Wayne’s daughter ironically is an attorney in California. I sent her an e-mail.
This report of the contents of The Duke’s intestines is “crap”. This is an urban legend that actually started with Elvis’ demise. Shocking that 21st century hucksters are allowed to use blatant lies to woo an ever increasingly gullible public. Read all about it at Snopes.com: