Penn Station security guards should make weight loss their number one New Year’s resolution

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I’m not sure if it’s the plethora of New Year’s resolution stories, the pantheon of reality TV shows or such provocative Discovery Channel fare as "I was a 687-pound teenager," but it sure seems like Fat City for the overall subject of weight loss.

Which may explain why I’ve been so weighted down by the sight of portly security folks at Penn Donut_2 Station. Today alone, I espied one weight-challenged security/military type after another waddling around the bustling train depot. As I did, I thought to myself, "Hey, what’s going on? Are we securing our city’s most vulnerable transportation hubs with the creme de la creme of our nation’s guards and soldiers? Or, instead, are the morbidly and grossly obese among the rank-and-file simply being posted to seemingly ‘out-of-the-way’ venues?"

Regardless of the reason why so many obviously out-of-shape security people are at Penn Station in the first place, the real concern is this: if an untrained eye like mine is picking this up, what must our enemies be thinking?

One would think our nation would want an image of a fit, lean and mean fighting machine, both here and abroad. Yet, the exact opposite is the case, at least at Penn Station. Instead of thinking "Army Strong" when I saunter past these ladies and gents, I’m thinking "Army Slow," "Army Ponderous" or, worse, "Army Vulnerable." It’s time for the Penn Station guards to shape up or ship out. And, here’s hoping a serious diet and exercise plan is on the New Year’s resolution list of many, if not all of them.

2 thoughts on “Penn Station security guards should make weight loss their number one New Year’s resolution”

  1. Laura, while I’ve learned to never say never, I somehow doubt I’ll ever have the chance to gauge the obesity levels of the Wal-Mart guards in Sheffield, Ala. Based upon your comments, though, I think I can picture them.

  2. RepMan, I’m generally in agreement with your argument here. However, I think you extrapolate an assesment on the state of obesity from the wrong group of people. As someone born in the fattest state in this nation, I’m always shocked at how obesity seems so much more prevalent outside the Northeast.
    That said, I would like to see your reaction to the security guards at the Wal Mart Superstore in Sheffield, Alabama.