Men’s Fitness magazine has just named Las Vegas the nation’s "fattest" city. The findings should come as no surprise since, with the exceptions of those brutal trade shows, most visitors to America’s Sodom & Gomorrah do litte, if any, walking while gorging on high calorie, high fat $1.99 breakfasts.
So, I ask: should the powers that be who run this money mecca care about their new brand positioning? I would think so: a fitter clientele would mean longer lives, less healthcare costs and more energy to feed the one-arm bandits 24×7.
In fact, if I were advising the City fathers, I’d suggest the following:
1) put clocks back in the casinos and suggest that gamblers get up, stretch and walk to a different ‘pit’ every 20 minutes
2) put heart-healthy snacks within arms’ reach of the gamblers.
3) stage a cocktail waitress 10k race on the Strip
4) offer to match the winnings of any gambler who also can prove he/she worked out at least once while vacationing in Sin City
5) encourage Steve Wynn to call his next hotel K-2, and put the casino at the very top of the building thereby forcing gamblers to climb staircases to lose pounds before also losing their hard-earned money.
I have to believe being labeled America’s fattest city is a real bummer for Vegas. It certainly doesn’t reinforce the glamorous, exotic branding they’ve been propagating for years. In fact, if they don’t stem the tide soon, gamblers may start dying of heart attacks right on the casino floors. The cause, however, won’t be the shock of winning or the grief of losing, but simply their morbidly obese bodies crapping out.
Until they start making some changes, I suggest Las Vagas be renamed Lost Waistlines.