Talk About a Real Withholding Tax

I thought I'd heard just about everything until my daughter, Catharine "Goose" Cody, informed me recently that one of her very attractive friends was angry. "Why?" I asked, "Because her boyfriend is withholding," she answered matter-of-factly. "Withholding what?" I asked naively. "Sex," she responded.

I was flabbergasted. A red-blooded man withholding sexual favors from a woman? "Are you serious?" I continued. "Oh, yes," she replied. "It happens quite often."

And, according to an article in Cosmopolitan, it does, indeed, happen quite often. According to Cosmo, a young man will withhold sex for one of five reasons:

- He's stressed out (gimme a break. Name a better stress buster)
- He's pissed off at you (ok, I buy that one)
- He's freaked out about commitment (maybe)
- He's worried about his sack skills (again, gimme a break)
- He wants to break up (so, just break up already. Why make both of you miserable?)

I'm not sure if withholding says more about the image of the withholder or the withholdee. You see, I grew up in a generation where guys would never, ever consider withholding in bed. In fact, the very thought is mind-boggling to me. Still, after global warming, an unprecedented economic downturn, eight horrendous years of W and now learning that Joe the plumber isn't licensed, I'm willing to believe just about anything. I'd like to write more but I think I'm getting a headache.

Thanks to Catharine Cody for the idea.

Comments

[Art]

Repman: Disappointed to see that you're fostering a stereotype--that men can and will bang anything that will hold still long enough, and will do so at a moment's notice. Kudos to you on your virility, but as a father of three who works long hours, sometimes I'm just not in the mood. It happens. And yes, stress is a major factor. I think you just gave a big boost to the pharma industry pushing ED drugs by implying that hoisting one's mainsail on demand is expected of all red-blooded men, regardless of age or circumstance.

[Steve Cody]

Thanks for the witticisms, Art. I wasn't trying to perpetuate any stereotypes. We all have our off nights. Rather, I was registering my shock that young men would withhold their services to send a message. I don't know when you grew up, but 'back in the day,' withholding was not only not on the table, it wasn't even up (pun intended) for consideration by either party.

[Jackie]

Well Steve, I'd have to refer Catharine's friend to one of my very favorite books, "He's Just Not That Into You."

[Steve Cody]

Duly noted, Jackie. I'll pass along the suggestion.

[goose]

I love that you have a picture of cosmo up there :) on a more personal note...my friend broke up with the boy that was withholding...so I guess he got what was coming (pun intended)