– Vow ‘scorched earth’ policy against eagles of all sorts – 

Lincroft, NJ, August 17, 2009 – Mick  and Rooney Cody, leaders of the militant  Dirty  Dog Underground movement headquartered here, expressed outrage at the recent signing of Michael Vick by the Philadelphia Eagles. Mick rooney cody

Speaking at a hastily called press  conference  at a local dog park, Mick Cody, the older and more vicious of the two Cody canines, said, “Birds everywhere, and eagles in particular, should be ashamed of themselves. The latter have just paid millions of dollars to Michael Vick, a man who has led a virtual ethnic cleansing of pooches (not that some us couldn't use a good grooming, mind you.) My brother and I are incensed and won't rest until the Eagles change their minds. Well, we may take a nap or two, but we won't rest.”

Rooney Cody echoed his older sibling's emotions, and added, “We've declared a jihad against eagles of all types until this horrific decision has been overturned. Up until now, my brother and I have limited our barking and overall harassment to cats, ground hogs, squirrels and an occasional mole. Guess what Eagles? You're now looking at a scorched earth policy and the mother of all wars!”

Other canine leaders from liberal and conservative camps alike have issued statements condemning the NFL team's decision to hire the convicted dog abuser. “We howled all night,” said Benny Barker, president of the NAAC (The National Association for the Advancement of Canines). Penny Pooch, chairdog of the AARD (American Association of Retired Dogs) echoed a similar sentiment, “Many of us in the senior dog community rolled over in delight when Mr. Vick was put behind bars. Now, we're whimpering in sorrow and many chapters report members literally walking with their tails between their legs after hearing the Vick news.”

All three dog communities have vowed to boycott (or caninecott, if you prefer) home and away games of the Eagles. “We're also planning a 'Lift Your Hind Leg' Day at the Eagles home opener,” noted Mick Cody. “Imagine thousands of area canines lifting their legs in protest in the Eagles parking lot before kickoff. That'll put a damper on any tailgating.”

Vick, his agent, and the Philadelphia Eagles organization were unavailable for comment. A spokesman for the Eagles did, however, offer to forward a year's supply of 'Beggin Strips' to the Cody canines.

“Bite me!” snapped Rooney, when told of the offer.


  1. Mick and Rooney Cody appreciate the healthy discussion on the Michael Vick controvery. Speaking from the Cody backyard where they were chasing one another’s tails, the pair panted, ‘What would have become of a dog if it had bitten Mr. Vick? Would it have served a few months in a minimum security prison, been reinstated and then paid the equivalent of $1.6mm in dog treats? We think not.’
    Mick stopped in his tracks and, after digging up a hole for no apparent reason, called for an expanison of the ‘lift your hind leg’ dog protest being planned for the Eagles home opener. ‘I think any pro football team that takes advantage of animal breeds by naming their franchise after one should face retribution. Rooney and I believe canine fans of such teams as the Falcons, Panthers, Bills, Broncos, Cardinals and Rams should lift their legs at opening game tailgating parties. And the birds should drop their special home made bombs from above. Humans piss on us so why shouldn’t we return the favor?’ he howled. ‘Now, where did I leave that bone?’

  2. Wow…it looks like the Lunch Boy and the Med Guy might have something in common with Salvatore Romano of Mad Men.

  3. lunch- today we agree on vick, tomorrow u might be the best man at my wedding…wow, what is this world coming to?

  4. the flyers from the late 70s/80s were known as “bullies” not thugs. get it right.
    but, i agree with you about his right to earn a living following his time served, too.
    is that a first for us?

  5. rep- i think vick is thug (and its no wonder he went to philly- the city of brotherly thugs) but that doesnt mean he shouldnt play football again. he served his time, ruined his rep, and will forever be a convicted criminal. but he has a right to earn a living now and the same way that former felons can go back into the workforce upon release, so can vick. and as soon as he has his first espn play of the day, the fans in philly will embrace him.
    ps- the philly comment goes along with guys like iverson having called that city home as well. and the flyers- the team was once known as a team of thugs.

  6. I am an animal lover but why don’t more teams stop hiring or paying the convicted wife/girlfriend beaters? It’s not known as the National Felon League for nothing you know.

  7. I recall saying on this blog that I believed (and hoped) that he would never play again. Now, I am of the mindset that he deserves a second chance. He’ll burn in hell when his time comes, but until then let him earn a living and show us if he has any good in him.
    Jeff Lurie, dog and Philadelphia Eagles owner, says that if his community and animal actions are not up to par, he is off the team. Between him, Goodell, Joe Banner, Andy Reid and Tony Dungy, I find it hard to believe that Vick could dupe all of them.
    Besides that, he paid for his crime in terms adhering to the judgment made by a court of law and financially. Now, he must start to being paying back society …and it will be interesting to watch.
    BTW, I am a cat lover (dogs are messy, noisey and they need a sitter if you want to go away for a weekend) and I’ve gotten a second chance before, thankfully.

  8. Maybe some good can come from what was clearly bad and evil. It appears that Vick’s involvement in dog-fighting comes from his exposure at age 8…and the culture that he grew up in. The head of the Humane Society has said that with Vick they are now getting an audience with a group that they could never get their message to. Maybe they will now be able to help some of these folks understand that dog fighting is wrong and evil. Cultural stuff like this is difficult to change. Like the Dominican’s and Puerto Ricans with Cock Fighting…while it is legal in their homeland it is difficult to break the chain here in the United States. Vick may help in changing the thought process in the dog fighting community.

  9. We dogs on the West Coast agree completely. We were howling mad when we heard. As beagles, we’re more into hunting rabbits than birds, but the taste of feathers is starting to be more attractive.
    Signed Kipper & Ozzie Barlow