Remember the late Mr. Blackwell? The man who made tons of money and received oodles of publicity for publishing an annual list of Hollywood's best and worst-dressed celebrities? Well, I've decided it's high time the world of had its own best and worst lists.
But, before unveiling who made my list, I think it's important you first understand my motivation.
Corporate icons exist for a reason. They personify a brand's essence and, de facto, an organization's values. Whether their creators agree or not, I believe icons send a very direct message to anyone and everyone who comes into contact with them. That's why I wrote in yesterday's blog that Ronald McDonald has done incalculable harm. Why? Because kids love the loveable clown and the loveable clown gets kids to love his calorie-laden Big Macs and fries.
In light of America's obesity problem, I think every major corporation should take a second look at its icon to see if the tiger, cow or panther in question might be sending a subliminal message that obesity is A-OK.
So, with that criteria in mind, it's time to unveil Mr. RepMan's fittest and least fit corporate icons.
1.) Mr. Clean. The man has been jacked from day one. You may think he's ingesting steroids and that Mr. Clean is actually the A-Rod of kitchen cleaning. No way. Juicing didn't exist when this bald buffed boy toy made his debut way back when.
2.) The Jolly Green Giant. This fella could start for any NBA team. He's tall, lean and muscular. And, you've got to believe his diet is rife with beans, peas, and other good stuff. No wonder he's so jolly. The man's high on life.
3.) Brawny. The name speaks for itself. Well done, B.
4.) Tony the Tiger. You look ggggggreat!
5.) The Marlboro Man. So what if the guy was filling his lungs with deadly carcinogens, he looked great doing it.
And, now Mr. RepMan's least fit corporate icons……
1.) The Michelin Man. This guy's had serious middle age spread from day one and has never made any effort to lose the spare tire. Get on a treadmill, Michelin Man!
2.) The Pillsbury Dough Boy. Talk about a heart attack waiting to happen. This icon's clogged arteries have clogs. Has he not heard of gastric bypass surgery? It's 'Just do it,' not 'Just dough it.'
3.) Aunt Jemima. I understand it's tough when your life consists of waffles, pancakes and syrup, but think about inserting some fruit in your diet, Jemima.
4.) The Kool-Aid Man. The man sells empty calories and smiles about it all day long? C'mon. where's the accountability?
5.) Elsie the Cow. Moo is no longer cool. Even cows can stand to lose a little weight. I'd like to see some more muscle definition, Elsie.
That's Mr. RepMan's list. Thoughts? Comments? Observations? Bueller?