Simply the worst


May 25
As
faithful RepMan readers know all too well, New Jersey Transit is the absolute
bane of my existence. In many ways, the service is a microcosm of society
itself: each year things just keep getting worse.

This
week, NJT announced a 25 percent fare increase along with a simultaneous
reduction in train service. What other business could get away with that kind
of abuse? 'Ah, listen, Alex. You've been a valued client of ours for some time.
And, I know our service has been pretty horrific for the entire time period.
But, I wanted to give you a heads-up that we'll be increasing our monthly fee
by 25 percent. Oh, and by the way, we'll be doing a lot less within the
increased budget. Have a great day.'

NJT
justified the lose-lose scenario as a result of the economy. Trust me, NJT
service has always been abysmal, regardless of the economy. That's why I'm once
again updating my suggested tagline for America's most horrendous business.

Forget
about '….Just train bad' and '….Expect less.' NJT should now lay claim to
being '…Simply the worst.'

The
beauty of 'Simply the worst' is its flexibility and authenticity. The
conductors' rude behavior is simply the worst. On-time performance? Simply the
worst. And, the lavatories? Simply the worst. The new tagline is 100 percent
authentic, too. How many other people, places or things can claim the same?

In
fact, here's my Top 10 list of the world's worst people, places or things
:

10)
Worst terrorist: The Times Square buffoon

9)
Worst religion: Catholicism

8)
Worst sports franchise: NY Mets

7)
Worst president: 'W'

6)
Worst Super Bowl host city: Jacksonville (that's a different blog for a
different day)

5)
Worst former client: Think purple

4)
Worst boss: My Brouillard CEO

3)
Worst music: Country & western

2)
Worst singer: Barry Manilow

1)
Worst public transit system in the known universe: NJT

Do
you agree with my Top 10 list? Send me your thoughts. What did I miss? 

10 thoughts on “Simply the worst

  1. Harding was a bad guy from what I’ve read. A total dupe who was controlled by Republican Party bigwigs. He’d easily rival W as one of the worst presidents of all time.

  2. I did some reading on the Teapot Dome Scandal and Warren G. Harding. He may actually have been worse than Dubya. Who knows what he would have done with two terms.

  3. Thanks to one and all for adding valuable content to my “worst” list. Sam: to each his own re: music. Trish and Syd: I feel your pain. Bob: you got it right re: all organized religions being the worst. In my opinion, organized religion is the root cause of most of the world’s problems.

  4. Sorry, Trish. The worst sports franchise, hands down, is the Toronto Maple Leafs. Successive individual and corporate owners have failed to figure out how to hire good people, let them do their jobs, and get out of the way.
    By the way, if the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup this year, the Maple Leafs will be the NHL team that has gone the longest without a title.

  5. Nice. I love it, Ken. Thanks for sharing. The beautiful thing is NJT simply doesn’t care about offending customers. There is zero leadership and zero accountability. It’s a sad commentary on the state of modern life that they can act this way with complete impunity.

  6. How about this, RepManCody: If you tried to be time-efficient and purchased off-peak R/T tickets, but didn’t use them by May 23, they not only won’t give you a refund, you can’t even step up the ticket with cash. So they have your money, the tickets are worthless, and you can’t do a bloody thing about it. I only have three leftover tix; what about those who purchased 10 or even 20? I asked the “helpful” ticket agent about it, and he said I could keep them as souvenirs. Note to NJ Transit: “When you’re screwing your customers, it’s not enough to NOT buy them dinner…you should add some sarcasm to the mix”

  7. Worst Sports Franchise: My beloved Cubbies
    Worst Public Transport System: NICTD They use the same cars from the 1800s.

  8. You knew it was coming, Steve…it seems a gross generalization to say broadly that country & western deserves the thumbs down. I can’t imagine someone not seeing the deep soul and art of Hank Sr.’s “So Lonesome I Could Cry.” Or the harrowing lines of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.” Or the depressing ruminations of Kris Kristofferson’s “Sunday Morning Sidewalk.” Or the daring lyrics to Loretta Lynn classics like “The Pill.” And that’s not to even get into Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline, Waylon Jennings…While I will cede to you that country music lost its soul in some ways over the years, the fact that I’m in “the Greater Nashville Area” demands I come to their defense. But at least you left my bluegrass alone. Bill and Charlie Monroe, their Uncle Pen, The Bluegrass Boys, and Ralph Stanley all thank you!