Mick Cody announces new, political party; calls ‘Animals Matter’ America’s first serious third party movement since days of Teddy Roosevelt and the Bull Moose

Lincroft, NJ, June 16, 2010 – Noted animal rights activist, Mick Cody (who also happens to be an
Dogs animal) announced today he was forming a new, third political party to be named Animals Matter. Calling it America's first serious third party since 1912 when Theodore Roosevelt split the Republican vote with his Bull Moose movement and handed the election to Democrat Woodrow Wilson, Cody says Animals Matter is the ultimate grass roots movement. 'We don't just represent grass roots ideas, we eat the damn things daily.”

Cody says Animals Matter is a direct response to the complete ineptness of humans to solve man-made problems. “In my short lifetime, I've witnessed house pets dying in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, pit bulls being savaged by Michael Vick and dolphins washing ashore on the beaches of Alabama courtesy of BP. We believe animals can do a better job,” he barked. Mick said Animals Matter will also provide a platform for animals of all kinds to posit their views on the ecological damage being wreaked by man.

“We welcome the siren calls of whales, the howls of coyotes and, yes, even the meows of cats,” said Mick. “We live, eat and breathe inclusiveness.”

Cody said Animals Matter intends to place candidates on tickets during the upcoming midterm elections and that he, himself, is weighing a run at the Presidency in 2010. “Look, Reagan was over 70 when he won in 1980. I'll be 10 in 2012. That's pretty much the same age. If Dutch can do it, why can't I?” he whined.

Cody acknowledged the need for a balanced ticket in order to attract voters in 2012. “I've appointed my long-time chief of staff, Rooney Cody, to head an exploratory committee to find the right VP. I'm looking for a savvy sea otter, a cunning chimp or maybe even an energizing eagle. Any of the above could easily whip Sarah Palin in an IQ test,” he whimpered.

Animals Matter is temporarily headquartered in the Cody backyard, which has been renamed the 'Animal Farm.' Mick says his nascent party is accepting contributions in the form of checks, money orders and dog treats.

“We will take back the environment from mankind. I may not live long enough to join my fellow animals in the Promised Land, but I've been to the top of the mountain and I've seen what lies ahead. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord,” Mick growled.

Animals Matter is a non-profit organization created to advocate on behalf of animals everywhere. For more information, please call 1-800-B-A-R-K-I-N-G or go to www.mickispissed.canine.

10 thoughts on “Mick Cody announces new, political party; calls ‘Animals Matter’ America’s first serious third party movement since days of Teddy Roosevelt and the Bull Moose

  1. Bring it on Socks. I’ve eviscerated animals far larger and stronger than you. Set paw within 50 feet of my Animals Matter campaign headquarters and I’ll put that ‘nine lives’ myth to rest once and for all.

  2. Many thanks, Gaetano. Mick has set reasonable expectations. He doesn’t expect any of his candidates to win, but will be content if animal rights become an agenda item in key, battleground states. Btw, Skippy’s extramarital escapades would have undoubtedly derailed any political aspirations the well-read dog may have harbored.

  3. Thanks, Rep, Jr. No argument from me. The Tea Party scares me. Animals Matter seems to have its priorities in the right order. Treats first. Oil spill clean-up second.

  4. Mick is on the hustings trying to inspire constituents in Southern Jersey. He asked me to thank Kipper and Ozzie, and suggest they both begin organizing in Northern California. The sooner humans are thrown out of office, the better.

  5. Hey Mick – I like the way you think; you’ve got my vote! How about teaming up with http://www.CheetatheChimp.org? I’m sure you can lure Hollywood’s favorite simian out of semi-retirement with your forward, progressive thinking.
    PS – Don’t listen to Socks; he’s just a sour-puss.

  6. How ironic. Just when things really go to hell in a hand basket, all of my good ideas – flagrantly ignored by the 42nd administration – are pilfered by a cute dog from Lincroft. It really comes down to one reason – as a cat I have been undermined and patronized by dog lovers despite my intelligence, despite my Clinton connections, despite my insistence on purring to Al Gore’s inconvenient truths in the early 90s when no one else was listening. Here’s a message for you Mick. I am coming after you the way that Ken Starr man came after my daddy. You are using your canine superiority to justify intellectual property theft. Don’t be whimpering next week when I trash talk you on Fox News. This is payback time.

  7. Sweet, funny and timely. Mick Cody has long been a driving force in animal rights and nature conservation. I’ve seen him spare the life of many a cornered squirrel while simultaneously refusing to tear up flower beds or shruberry. This particular dog literally walks the walk. Or, in his case, trots the trot.”