Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs

In effort to compete with the brand new reality show from the Sundance Channel called ‘Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys’, The Canine Network (TCN) today announced it would be airing its first reality show, Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs …. (A Species Apart).

I recently caught up with the show’s creator, co-producer and star, Mick  Cody. Mick had just finished a strenuous backyard workout with his mom and was having his muddy paws cleaned as we began our chat…

Rep: ‘Mick, thanks again for finding time to meet with me. Man, are you ever panting!’
Mick: ‘Yup. My mom really puts me through my paces. She’s a personal trainer.’
Rep: ‘So I’ve heard. So, tell me about your new reality show, Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs …. (A Species Apart).
Mick: ‘Sure. The impetus was human reality TV programming. My co-producer, Rooney Cody and I are totally really fed up with it. This latest nonsense about girls who like boys who like boys was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or, the stick that broke the dog’s back, if you prefer. So, we decided to produce a program that would simultaneously mock human reality shows while taking the entire genre to a whole new level.’
Rep: ‘Do tell.’
Mick: ‘I’d need a Beggin’ Strip to do that.’
Rep: ‘Damn. How many of those things do you down in a day? Fine. Here. And, lay down. You’re still panting heavily.’
Mick: (now stretched out comfortably in front of a roaring fireplace): ‘Human reality shows have gone so far beyond bizarre that they leave me speechless (literally). I mean I can respond to your command to speak, but I can’t speak per se.’
Rep: ‘I get your point. Please stay on subject.’
Mick: Sorry. Well, I mean, who cares about girls who like boys who like boys? Boys who like boys who like girls? Gimme a break. And, gimme another bone while you’re at it. Anyway, we’ve decided to go far beyond mere hetero/homo/transgender content and elevate the programming to a new level: trans species content. That’s why we’re using the subtitle: “A Species Apart.” I always loved that old Merrill Lynch tagline.’
Rep: ‘It’s bold and brash to be sure. Can you give us an idea of the plot?’
Mick: It’ll be fashioned along the lines of The Jersey Shore which, as you know, is the only TV reality show Rooney and I will watch with you. It’ll be set in our back yard. Rooney and I will have different monikers: I’m JMick and Rooney is FleaMan. We invite cats to our crib and then treat them like the scum they are. Instead of calling the ugly ones grenades, though, we’ll call them Furballs.’
Rep: ‘You have some real issues with cats, don’t you?’
Mick: ‘They serve no purpose whatsoever and are arrogant, egotistical asses. Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs will reveal the sleazy underbelly of the cat world. It’ll be positively groundbreaking. And, speaking of ground-breaking, I need to go out again. Would you mind?’
Rep: ‘Not at all. Best of luck with Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs. I’d use the old showbiz expression ‘break a leg,’ but I know that can be fatal with canines.’

8 thoughts on “Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs

  1. I caught up with Mick after his early morning walk and asked him to respond, Julie. ‘I’m surprised a woman who works in the entertainment sector would confuse my disdain for cats with my real intent. I want to shine a harsh spotlight on the vapid content of human reality TV shows and hold it up for species of all kinds to see. Cats are nothing more than a means to end in achieving that. And, I’m not a Furball-phobe. I just won’t share a bone with any of them.

  2. Mick’s just issued a follow-up statement from his perch looking out the front window:
    “Any speculation concerning my Mom’s cooking, good, bad or otherwise, is just that, speculation. My brother, Rooney and I appreciate everything Mom does for us. That said, we’d like a little more daily exercise.”

  3. Mick just awakened from an hour-long nap and issued this statement: ‘Neither Rooney nor I had anything to do with Large Puddy’s untimely disappearance and supposed demise. Nor are we responsible for Little Puddy’s decision to live permanently outdoors. We wish each of our erstwhile housemates well in their future endeavors.

  4. no dog living on the cody property has any leads on the so called “disappearance” of large putty…according to sources close to the cat, he was fed up with his mom’s sub-par cooking

  5. Does JMick have any information on the alleged disappearance of Big Puddy? Hmmm, gotta wonder after some of his comments. Also, I hope MY personal trainer won’t have me fetching tennis balls later today.

  6. I was able to track down Mick, who barked back this response:
    “I don’t dread felines, Bubbles. They dread me. I despise felines. They’re iconoclastic, narcissistic loners who contribute absolutely nothing to the home environment. That’s why Rooney and I call them furballs. Now, please excuse me, I have to go howl at some crows in the front yard. They’re useless as well.”

  7. Bite your tongue Mick! You say “cats serve no purpose whatsoever and are arrogant, egotistical asses.” Like most beings who hate something, your dread of felines is based on your own insecurity and ignorance of the species. And that is my final word.