The United States of Krispy Kreme

I've yet to watch the 'United States of Tara' but gather that, like such predecessors as 'The three faces of Eve' and 'Sybil', the TV show's lead character suffers from multiple personality disorder.

According to a recently published report, it seems the doughnut-dispensing king of kings, Krispy Kreme, may be experiencing its own personality disorder.

Long known for its calorie-laden, artery-hardening breakfast fare, double K is now adding oatmeal, yogurt and fruit juice to its menu. Say what? They're also opting for specialty coffees, espressos and lattes. Really? A latte and doughnut? Talk about oil and water. That's positively schizophrenic. Kid with donuts

KK is obviously following the clowns at McDonald's, who've tried to re-position themselves as something other than the primary cause of America's obesity problems.

While not nearly as prolific or visible as the Mickey D's, Krispy Kreme has nonetheless played a nice, supporting role in fattening us up for the kill. In fact, those warm, sugary doughnuts are the dietary equivalent of an edible IED that will blow apart one's arteries faster than a Seal6 team can put a bullet in a terrorist's skull.

I think it's disingenuous, if not deceitful, to sell fast food junk at one end of the counter and healthy, nutritious alternatives on the other. It's also a real image and reputation challenge. I just can't envision Biff and Margot zipping their Jaguar past a Starbucks to, instead, drop in on a KK before heading to their tennis and pilates classes, respectively. It just doesn't compute.

Krispy Kreme has a winning, if tremendously unhealthy, formula. Why mess with success? Brands get into trouble when they begin confusing end users.

That said, I would enjoy seeing KK tackle its multiple personality disorder with a clever tagline. Maybe something along the lines of: 'We're healthy! No, we're not! Yes, we are! Stop saying that! I say we're healthy. And, I say doughnuts are unhealthy. Guys, guys: You two MUST stop arguing all the time. Hey, who asked for third party advice? So, like I was saying, we're unhealthy! No, we're not….'


One thought on “The United States of Krispy Kreme

  1. I think Krispy Kreme is trying to be all things to all people… And we all know what happens when you try to please everyone… no one is happy.