CANINE ACCUSES MEDIA OF ‘BREED BAITING’

– Ex-Congressdog Cody says use of term 'dog days' to describe heat wave is 'inflammatory' –

Lincroft, NJ, July 22, 2011 – Controversial former Congressdog Mick Cody lashed out today at the media's use of 'dog days' to describe the nation's brutal heat wave, calling it “breed baiting.” 2011-07-21 15.33.59Cody, who was forced to resign his position as the first elected Congressdog in the aftermath of a sexting scandal, says the polarization of America goes far beyond humans living in Red and Blue states and now includes the animal world.

“How would your breed like to be associated with the most horrific weather of the Summer?” asked a noticeably tanned and rested Cody, lounging near his backyard pool. “I not only cringe when I hear a meteorologist use the term, I find myself acting out in anger and, say, ripping apart my master's hiking boots. That's not fair to him or me,” he snarled. “This sort of rhetoric undermines all dogs and marginalizes our attempts to gain equal rights under the Constitution.”

Gore days

The former Congressdog has a solution to what he terms “…yet another example of caninephobic behavior”.

“I think it's time for all breeds to admit that former Vice President Gore was 100 percent correct in predicting both global warming and seismic climate change. Let's honor him by dropping the word dog and, instead, inserting Gore. I think Gore Days should enter the popular lexicon,” said Mick, after relieving himself on a nearby shrub.

The term Dog Days originated in ancient Rome and was coined in honor of the brightest (ergo 'hottest') star in the night sky: Sirius. Romans believed the hottest days of the year were caused by Sirius getting too close to the sun; hence Dog Days. “Those ancient Romans were doing some serious drugs,” howled Mick. “Like most species with half a brain, I'm getting really tired of adhering to the words and phrases written by old white guys from 2,000 years ago.”

Mr. Gore was unavailable for comment.

In his statement, Cody demanded immediate action or promised a “million dog march” on Washington, D.C. in mid-August. “Let those damn politicians see what havoc a million canines can wreak on Pennsylvania Avenue in 100 degree heat. They may be unable to agree on anything else, but I guarantee the smell alone will force some legislation to be passed,” said a smiling and panting Mick.

Mick Cody rose to prominence in the midst of the Michael Vick pit bull scandal, rode a wave of popularity to win election as the first canine to serve in Congress and was later forced to resign after sexting a topless photograph of himself to a cat.

4 thoughts on “CANINE ACCUSES MEDIA OF ‘BREED BAITING’

  1. Thanks Julie. It’s not a stretch to say the ex-Congressdog has seen the light. That said, he never actually sets paw in the pool, so not to worry about his soiling the water.

  2. My, my, but the CongressDog is becoming VERY sensitive and politically correct, isn’t he? Next thing you know, he’ll blame the phrase “Dog Days” on a vast right-wing conspiracy of felines…
    I was glad to see the nice photo op of The Mick enjoying himself by the pool. Many felines don’t have that option.
    And remember not to pee in the pool; it’s rude.

  3. The operative word would be ‘gotten’, Syd. I despise this weather and support Mick’s right to speak (or, rather, bark) up.