White Castle’s conundrum

What would you do if you sat in the White Castle CEO seat? The low end, fast food purveyor has been peddling fattening fare for decades but they've just been sued by a severely obese customer who says the 'restaurant's' booth seats are too small!

This could only happen in America.

It's also a classic conundrum. White Castle exists to fatten people up for the kill. But, the 290-pound Wall Street stockbroker wants to be compensated because he can't squeeze his already massive hulk into a White Castle seat. So, what to do if you're White Castle? It would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. (Want to check your own weight status? click here.)

I have a win-win solution.

White Castle should embrace its core differentiator, declare itself America's first 'Friend of the Fat' and partner with the roly poly stockbroker to redesign the chain's booths. How cool would that be?

In fact, WC should expand (ouch) on my idea by creating a crowdsourcing contest and invite the obese, severely obese and morbidly obese of the world to submit their ideas. The person who submits the winning booth design would receive a lifetime supply of those disgusting, little burgers and have all the medical expenses paid for his or her upcoming massive stroke or quadruple bypass.

This has Silver Anvil award written all over it.

As Don Levin, my first boss at Hill & Knowlton used to say, “Where the client sees a challenge, we see an opportunity.” White Castle doesn't have a conundrum. It has a unique branding and marketing opportunity. Carpe diem, White Castle. Now's the time to declare yourself the very first openly friendly friend of the junk food junkie. Oh, and by the way, you should make that money-grubbing, slob of a stockbroker your new corporate spokesperson. You were made for each other.

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