Did you know that, when everything else is equal, employers will opt to hire slender, physically fit job prospects rather than their weight-challenged peers?

I mention this because, knowing how mightily Americans are struggling with obesity (courtesy of McDonald's and the various school lunch programs that still offer pizza and other sources of empty calories), I wanted to share an absolute revelation. It's called kangoo, and it's changed my life for the better.

Like mountain climbing and stand-up comedy, though, I find it difficult to explain kangoo to someone who's never experienced it. But, I'll try.

One performs kangoo by donning a specially-manufactured pair of ski boots that are supported by an impact protection system featuring two arc-shaped shells held together by a tension spring. The result is a bouncing platform that reduces the normal, pounding impact of running by up to 80 percent depending on the exercise. And, because the boots balance themselves naturally, one is constantly using every core and leg muscle to constantly stabilize the body. As a result, the muscles work in total harmony with one another (confused and tired yet?).

My trainer, Mario Godiva Green (www.mariothetrainer.com), offers three different, high intensity/low impact varieties of kangoo:
 - dance classes (which, since I was born with two left feet, I avoid like the plague).
– running (which is more like flying since the boots make you feel so amazingly light)
– conditioning boot camps.
 I've been alternating the latter two for well over two months now and the results have nothing short of amazing.

I went into the first kangoo session with my usual, haughty air of condescension. After all, I'd summited countless mountains, completed scores of century cycling rides and run hundreds of 10ks and half marathons over the years, so how difficult could this strange sport be? Twenty minutes later, I knew two things:
– I'd badly underestimated Mario and his kangoo fitness workouts
– I was hooked faster than one can ingest a batch of crystal meth.

The beauty of kangoo, aside from the way it re-sculpts one's body and burns hundreds, if not thousands, of calories, is that it forces you to stay in the moment or, as Friday’s guest columnist, Ruth Fishel, would say: practice mindfulness. As is the case with comedy and climbing, it is impossible to think of anything else but kangoo as you practice kangoo (that's because every step is critical AND your body is fighting to maintain its equilibrium).
 
Mario tells me he's one of only five master trainers in the States who is fully certified to teach and train with kangoo. Here’s a recent ABC nightline segment that will do a much better job of showing you what I’ve been experiencing.

Kangoo was invented in Europe for sport injury rehabilitation. In fact, kangoo’s impact reduction enables people with injuries to heal faster and still exercise without reinjuring themselves or further exacerbating their injury. It’s also a cellular workout.  Every time one rebounds on the kangoo boots, it’s like 60 trillion cells doing a pushup! That’s a whole lot of tired cells. And, when the cells regenerate, they regenerate stronger than ever.  I believe that’s a win-win-win-win.  But, I‘m not positive.

The bottom line? I can assure you that kangoo will melt pounds off your frame faster than you can say sauna. And, you'll emerge from the session with a kangoo high that lasts for the entire day. Hey, maybe Demi Moore should consider it as a solution to her nitrous oxide addiction?

This post is dedicated to every Brouillard alumnus who suffers the same type of PTSD.

Do you have a recurring nightmare? I do, and it's something special.

The plot's always the same, although the characters sometimes change. Here's the gist:

For god knows what reason, I've decided to sell my equity stake in Peppercom and return to my previous position as president of Brouillard Communications (a now defunct conflict brand within J. Walter Thompson which, in turn, is one of the 6,963 agencies owned by WPP Group).

Anyway, the nightmare begins with my sitting at a Brouillard conference table staring into the lifeless eyes of the bete noir of my professional career, Brouillard CEO James H. Foster.

As was the case 16 years ago, Foster is sitting with his arms crossed and a sadistic smirk on his face. Suddenly, he laughs out loud and sneers, “Irene (the equally sadistic CFO) and I knew you'd be back, Cody. You simply lack the intellectual rigor to run an agency.”

Foster was very big on the term intellectual rigor, and the lack thereof. He'd often tell me to fire someone simply because they lacked intellectual rigor. When I'd press him for details, he'd stop in his tracks and sigh, “The words speak for themselves.”

Back to the dream. Badly shaken, I quickly excuse myself from the conference room and ask my secretary (whose name escapes me) to get my erstwhile Peppercom business partner, Ed Moed, on the phone. I need to speak with Ed ASAP and beg him to take me back.

But, my secretary always returns with the same message: “Ed's assistant, someone named Dandy, keeps saying he's in a meeting and can't be disturbed.”

That's when I wake up in a cold sweat, look around and thank my lucky stars that the dream was just a dream.

So, I'd like to ask every armchair psychologist near and far to tell me what the nightmare means. I'd be especially interested in any interpretations that also include image and reputation angles. Here's mine:
The dream is my mind's way of telling me to never grow too content with the successes I've experienced at Peppercom.

Because, if I do, I just may end up in another thankless job at another nameless holding company subsidiary. And, if I did, I'd most certainly channel Bob Dylan and wail, “Oh momma, can this really be the end? To be stuck inside of Brouillard (or any of the scores of other large and impersonal agencies) with the Peppercom blues again.”

You don’t need me to remind you public relations is an extremely stressful field. But, hey, if I don’t, who will?  So, allow me to remind you of your stress before I provide a really cool solution to it.

Here are two recent facts:
1.)   PR was just named one of the 10 most stressful occupations in the world.

2.)   PR practitioners work in the second most caffeinated occupation.

And here, as promised, is your solution. It’s called mindfulness. And, it’s a time-tested, very cool way of reducing stress, improving the quality of your life and, get this, slowing down the aging process. Now, I may work in the smoke-and-mirrors business, but this isn’t snake oil. Rather, it’s the culmination of 33-years of research, study and practice by Ruth Fishel, (pictured,)the author of ‘WRINKLES DON’T HURT, the Joy of Aging Mindfully’ available at Amazon.

Sensing that Ruth had a novel remedy to a very real PR industry problem, I arranged an interview. And, what the 76-year-old author told me wasn’t just remarkable. It made total sense.

Mindfulness is a form of mediation that, Fishel says, can help any stressed out PR executive. And, it’s quicker, safer and more effective than a glass of chardonnay, tab of crystal meth or 20mg of Xanax.

It’s a two-part process that needs to be practiced before it can be mastered. It consists of:
   – Setting aside 20 minutes every morning to do nothing more than breathe in and out, and focus on the breathing. Thoughts, be they good, bad or otherwise should be placed in a parking lot as they occur. Twenty minutes of mindfulness, says Fishel, is equal to two hours of sleep. And, what PR executive wouldn’t kill for two more hours of Zzzs each night?
   – Exporting the practice breathing to the crisis of the moment. So, when a client calls to complain, a boss pops into the office with a last-minute project or a reporter slams down his phone in disgust, a mindfulness practitioner will immediately ease the stress by, drum roll please, slowly breathing in and out three times.

It’s that simple. But, it’s also that profound. Ruth says mindfulness enables us to uncover negative thoughts and fears, and recognize them for what they are (i.e. nothing more than the fear of fear itself, as FDR said). Fishel gave me a great example from her personal life. Immediately after authoring her first book, ‘The Journey Within,’ she was asked by her publisher to deliver a speech. Ruth refused because she was literally scared to death by the very thought of public speaking. But, her publisher went ahead and booked the address. Frightened but determined, Ruth focused on mindfulness practice each and every day leading up to the speech. She also added a personal affirmation: ‘I am a dynamite, fearless motivational speaker.’

Needless to say, she delivered a great speech and, today, can look back on countless such talks delivered to everyone from school children and recovering alcoholics to prison inmates and senior citizen groups.

And, speaking of senior citizens, Ruth firmly believes that mindfulness retards aging. In fact, she promises that every year spent practicing mindfulness on a daily basis will slow the aging process by a full year. She says mindfulness has been linked to becoming a better listener (since one stays in the moment instead of anticipating an upcoming call, meeting or deadline, or thinking about what you are going to say next). Ruth also says it’s been linked to having fewer operations over a lifetime, maintaining a good memory, strengthening one’s immune system and a small new study even reported mindfulness can lessen getting Alzheimer’s disease because it activates a certain section in the brain that sharpens the memory cells.

Mindfulness, says Fishel, is the single best way to stop worrying about the future (and growing old) while making the most of the moment at hand. In other words, it makes life richer and more rewarding.

It seems to me that people working in a stressed out, crisis-filled occupation such as ours should invest in themselves (and, in Ruth’s book) and begin practicing mindfulness. It sounds a whole lot better than the strategy employed by the Seinfeld character, Frank Costanza, who would throw up his arms, look skyward and scream, “Serenity now! Serenity now!”

You can learn more about Ruth and her other books at www.ruthfishel.com.

Enough already with The Edelman Trust Barometer!

While I have enormous respect for the amazing thought leadership the Edelman Trust Barometer generates I must say that, as is the case with most surveys, indices and rankings, it pretty much tells me what I already know. And, this year is no exception: the barometer reports confidence in CEOs is at an all-time low.  Yawn.
I think it’s time to unleash the bizarro world version of the Edelman Trust Barometer. I call it, drum roll please, the Peppercom Distrust Barometer. And, unlike the original, our barometer doesn’t focus on lack or trust but, rather, explores whether there is any living person who still engenders trust.

Here are our initial findings, sorted by category. Note: the results reflect a sampling of street vendors, homeless people and New Jersey Transit train conductors, who were surveyed during a rain storm earlier this week. Our single question was both pointed and provocative: Who do you trust (fill-in the category). Here are the results:

1.)    Entertainment: Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke. Betty White finished a distant third. Leo, Brangelina and the rest didn’t even register a blip.
2.)    Sports: All National Hockey League players. These toothless, facially scarred nabobs of the North easily outranked their higher paid, egomaniacal peers from the NBA, NFL and Major League Baseball. Note: Derek Jeter finished a surprising 10th after Tonya Harding and Barry Bonds. So much for the captain.
3.)    Politics: Any descendant of Theodore Roosevelt. Our respondents not only distrust ALL living politicians, they also suggested Peppercom rename its distrust survey in honor of Richard M. Nixon, the prototypical sleazy politician (note: our board of advisers is currently reviewing the suggestion).
4.)    CEOs: Again, respondents went the Grim Reaper route, naming Steve jobs as the most trusted CEO. The late, lamented Jobs was followed by Mother Theresa, who apparently held an honorific title with the Roman Catholic Church circa 1980. (Note: the Church itself didn’t fare as well. In fact, the last 31 popes finished at the bottom of the CEO list alongside Carol Bartz of Yahoo, Chainsaw Al Dunlap of Sunbeam infamy and, of course, Dennis Kozlowski and Ken Lay.
5.)    The media: Local traffic reporters such as Katie McGee of WCBS-TV in New York were listed as most trustworthy. Not surprisingly, meteorologists, Bill O’Reilly and Katie Couric finished dead last.

The Peppercom (nee Nixon) Distrust Barometer will be published annually, and is intended to shine the spotlight on those few individuals, living or dead, on whom we can still count.

How many times have you been frustrated when a brand promises one thing in its messaging and then delivers a very different audience experience? My colleague, Deb Brown, recently opined on this very subject when she compared what the new CBS This Morning promised in its marketing and what she actually experienced as a viewer.

Deb’s blog inspired me to wax poetic on other brands that seem positively bi-polar when it comes to promising one experience and delivering a very different one.

Take The History Channel. Please.

I adored the original History Channel, but have absolutely no clue who they’ve become or what their brand stands for. And, judging by some cursory research on my part, neither do they. For example, The History Channel’s website is replete with historical tidbits and trivia, including This Day in History, a 150-year anniversary video about the Civil War and all sorts of other cool value adds for junkies such as me. But, The History Channel’s programing is laughably bizarre, and includes such low-end nonsense as Swamp People, Ax Men and Ancient Aliens. Do the folks in programming not speak to their peers in marketing? Or, do the latter simply not watch the network? Either way, it positively schizophrenic.

But, CBS and The History Channel aren’t alone. In fact, they have lots of company in the bi-polar branding world. Just consider these examples:
-    Starbucks lauds its commitment to being ethical and responsible in everything the corporation does. Yet, they just raised prices in Manhattan without any advance notice, causing a rash of negative reviews.
-    Continental Airlines heralded its United merger with the following headline: ‘It’s not who’s merging, but what’s about to emerge.’ As a longstanding Continental flier, I can assure you that what’s emerged is one hot mess of inefficiency.
-    McDonald’s new tagline is ‘I’m lovin’ it.’ But, based upon the fast food chain’s reprehensible role in fattening up Americans to die, the motto should be, ‘Killing you slowly, bite-by-bite.’
-    Carnival Cruise Lines trumpets their fun excursions and asks for passenger reviews on the website (but bars entry without a user ID and password). Nowhere is there any mention of the ghastly Costa Concordia capsizing that claimed so many lives. I’ve met a few CEOs who lived in a world of denial, but Carnival’s top dog deserves a special place in hell for not owning up to the disaster.
-    And, in the wonderful world of public relations, there’s my alma mater, H+K Strategies. About a month ago, the PR trades blasted breaking news bulletins announcing the legendary Hill & Knowlton’s name change to H+K Strategies (a non-news story if there ever was one). Then, just last week, H+K Strategies was sued by Weber for client and people theft, which is a very big deal indeed. But, when one travels to the H+K Strategies web site, there’s no mention whatsoever of the suit or H&K’s POV. Instead, the visitor is prompted to view a video of CEO Jack Martin, who pontificates about H+K Strategies being in the “wisdom business.” Well, some old wise man was clearly asleep at the wheel when he allowed the firm to re-brand only weeks before a major law suit was filed by a top competitor. There’s bi-polar and then there’s dysfunctional. I’d suggest H+K Strategies belongs in both buckets.

Enough with me and my views. What are your experiences with bi-polar brands? Send me some decent examples of corporations that promise one thing in their marketing and deliver something decidedly different in their audience experience, and I’ll mail you a way cool Peppercom water bottle as a way of saying thanks. (Note: winners of said bottle may find it to be anything but cool. Peppercom in no way, shape or form wants to fall prey to becoming a bi-polar brand.)

Last week, I fancied myself the Curt Flood of PR; someone who was willing to take on the establishment and speak out against the injustice of our industry's awards program.

This week, I see myself as a top fashion designer. And, I'm delighted to say I'm not alone. In fact, my firm was just selected as the 2011 Best of Manhattan Award winner in the clothing category!

I can't tell you how thrilled I am. Ed and I have labored long and hard to make sure we carry the most stylish clothing at affordable prices in handsomely designed stores. In fact, the U.S. Commerce Association award is the culmination of a long and winding road, and I'd like to thank the judges (as well as all the little people who made this possible).

I'd also like to alert the judges to the fact that Peppercom is a strategic communications firm and NOT a clothing store. Sure, we'll occasionally run a going out of business sale and mark down all items by up to 75 percent, but that's it.

I jest of course. But, the Best of Manhattan Award notification is a genuine reputation blunder. If the U.S. Commerce Association can name Peppercom the Big Apple's best clothing store, they could just as easily pick Saks Fifth Avenue as the top funeral parlor.

To err is human. To forgive, divine. But, the business world is a stern taskmaster and this degree of sloppiness is both laughable and lamentable.

Even though I'll be thrilled to accept my much-deserved award in the most stylish tux imaginable, I would advise the U.S. Commerce Association to invest a few bucks in a new database management system. If they do so, I'll throw in a new suit for the CEO. It's the least the Armini of PR can do.