Also Wails About 'Wimpification' of Canines
LINCROFT, NJ - February 17, 2012 - Outspoken former U.S. Congressdog Mick Cody today announced he'd be leading a million dog march to undermine Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's chances in the upcoming Michigan primary.
The controversial canine says it's high time canines shine the spotlight on what he called Romney's '…heinous treatment…' of the family dog, Seamus, in 1983.
'We'll begin the march (or trot, walk, run, or canter. Take your pick.) from every corner of this great country of ours,' said the peeved pit bull, who was forced to resign from office last year after being caught texting a topless photograph of himself to a cat.
'Voters need to know that Mitt Romney deliberately strapped his dog, Seamus, to the top of his car during a long drive to Canada. I think it's the Beltway equivalent of Michael Vick's training pit bulls to fight to the death.'
Cody said the one million dogs plan to converge on Detroit in early March. Once there, he promised the dogs will run in packs along the highways, and up and down every street tearing down Romney campaign posters, defecating on them, or both. 'We'll also be lifting our legs outside every Romney campaign office in the state,' he sniffed.
The outspoken pooch says he believes dogs can, and will, cost Romney the Republican candidacy. 'People love dogs, and once more of them know what happened to poor Seamus, they'll shift their votes to a more animal-friendly candidate. Not that Newt, Rick or Ron look very friendly, mind you,' panted Mick, as he returned from a brisk four-mile walk of his own.
WIMPIFICATION OF DOGS
Cody also railed at what he called the liberal Hollywood establishment's 'wimpification of dogs.' Standing on his hind legs and activating the remote control of the Cody Family DVD, the dog showed a gathering of reporters a popular Youtube video he called, 'demeaning and degrading to all canines, no matter their breed.'
'My master is sick and tired of Hollywood's portrayal of all men as stupid. I'm equally upset at their marginalizing all dogs by showing one weakling who happens to be scared silly of cats. The liberal elite are ruining this country,' he howled.
Readers will recall that Mick Cody first rose to prominence when he organized a march of some 100,000 dogs in protest of Michael Vick's abuse of pit bulls. Buoyed by massive national publicity, Cody then became the first dog ever elected to Congress. He later resigned in disgrace because of the sexting scandal, an incident Mick still insists was nothing more than entrapment.
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Shout out and thanks to Syd Steinhardt who sparked the idea for this post.
Thanks for the post, GoToPEngel. The Congressdog and I believe there are certain things a dogly dog or manly man shouldn’t do. Vacating a subway seat for a pregnant woman is one of them. Mitt Romney would probably strap a pregnant woman to the roof of his car.
The former Congressdog thanks Bueller Cohen for his courageous decision to join the leadership ranks of the Million Dog March. Mick likens the upcoming march to the canine world’s version of the fabled Civil Rights Movement’s Freedom March of 1961.
At one point, Romney said, “Seamus liked it up there, with the wind going through him.”
Great stuff. It really puts the emphasis on how out of touch this perpetual empty suit is.
As the husband of a recently pregnant lady though, I must say I’m offended by your able-bodied inability to give up a subway seat.
It would be an honor to serve.
Thanks for your post, Steve. The former Congressdog is exploring a variety of options for the near and long-term future. In the final analysis, he says, he will do whatever is best for his family and his country.
The former Congressdog thanks you, Julie, and just told me he believes that learning from one’s mistakes in life is the sign of true greatness. Something tells me he’s considering a run for the White House in 2016. I know he’d love to christen the bushes in the Rose Garden.
Thanks Lia. I agree, and so does the former Congressdog. That said, neither of us would ever give up a subway seat to a pregnant woman. Sorry.
I’m a firm believer that you can tell everything you know about a person in the way they treat very certain people and things in life: service personnel, cab drivers, pregnant ladies on the subway, and yes, most definitely pets and other animals. I can barely keep myself from consoling my dog when she cries because I’m not paying attention to her while also watching television; I can’t even imagine being indifferent to her cries in a more serious situation. Between this and other questionable statements by Romney on the campaign trail, I have serious doubts as to his capacity to think and feel like a human being should.
I am so glad to see the former CongressDog rallying behind a worthy cause since his “PR faux pas” awhile back.
I agree with the Mick that Mitt’s treatment of the family dog, Seamus, is reprehensible.
Attention must be paid to such a dog.
The former Congressdog thanks you, Bueller, and says he looks forward to seeing you in Detroit. FYI, he says he’s thinking of adding a GLTG component to the Million Dog March and would be proud to have you serve as chairdog. Interested?
“I’m the first one to enjoy periodically sticking my snout of the sunroof of our car, breeze on my snout, wind in my hair, and all of that. However, if Alan and Barry ever put me in a crate on the roof, I would be pretty ticked, and things would get messy! I am a member of the family. I deserve to sit at the table, er, seat – front seat, at that! Count me in for the March. The public needs to know what they are dealing with! And while I have your attention, I am none to pleased awith Romney’s stance on gay marriage — at least my gay (married) parents wouldn’t put me on the roof of a car!
Bueller Cohen Rosenthal (As dictated to Alan Cohen)
5 year old, Wheaten Terrier, NYC
This is great; any chance we might see Mick Cody on the 2016 national ticket? Have your formed an advisory committee to sort of, well sniff the wind as it were?
In all seriousness, what do you think is the best strategy for Romney at this point? This is clearly a story that will not go away . . .
Also, this is equally important to note: the cats are not mine. I was not in support of my mom’s purchase–I love dogs (though her cats did grow on me).
Thanks for the post, Sarah. The ex-Congressdog loves the idea of strapping Mitt to the roof of his campaign bus. He said to go ahead and treat yourself to seem treats for the idea.
Thanks Bedrock. The former Congressdog is willing to temporarily forget his hatred of cats in order to stop the dog-abusing Romney. That said, he’s asked me to remind you to remind your cats that the march is a BYO kitty litter event.
I could never support a candidate who would think that strapping their pet to the roof of a car is ok. My dog is part of my family; Mitt, would you strap your child to the roof?
As a dog lover, Mick, I completely back you on this. I have also received word from my mom’s cats that they and their feline friends will put aside any differences and stand beside you in Michigan (they are very good at shredding things too). Just give the bark.