Who buys more Kalashnikov AK-47 semi-automatic assault rifles?
A) The Russian army and Moscow police.
B) The average, gun-toting American Joe Six-Pack.
It's a trick question because, according to a riveting (ricocheting?) article in The New York Times, the Izhevsky Machine Works factory in Russia sells an equal amount to each.
In fact, according to Maksim V. Kuzyuk, a board member of Izmash, which manufactures the deadly weapons, the company is focusing ALL of its marketing efforts on the United States. Maksim (or, Maxie to his friends and family) says, “Typically, the American family will have five or six short- and long-barreled guns.” Clearly, the Codys are NOT keeping up with the Jonses.
Don't get me wrong. I understand the need for weapons in the home. We face unprecedented threats to security including, but not limited to:
– Marauding herds of Al Qaeda-trained deer.
– Home-grown Ground Hog supremists, who are likely to waddle into any park at any time and wipe out the entire squirrel population.
– Those seemingly nice people from Jehovah's Witnesses who tell you they're trying to peddle copies of 'The Watchtower', when they're actually plotting a home invasion.
According to the Times articles, Americans are buying so many assault weapons from Izmash that they're enabling the factory to re-tool and build a next generation rifle, designated the AK-12, and intended for use by the Russian army. Talk about foreign aid! But, not to worry, American gunsmiths don't see their funding a foreign country's construction of new and more sophisticated assault weapons as unpatriotic. Owen Martin, a NH-based gunsmith, says the absolute avalanche of AK-47s in the U.S. is actually helping to keep the prices low. Ah, the beauty of free enterprise.
I'd go on, but we have a minor infestation of mice on the fifth floor and, having just received shipment of my very own AK-47, I have some unfinished business to attend to. Go ahead, Mickie and Minnie. Make my day.