Spamming the spammers

SpammmmmDespite all the king's filters and all the king's software, we all STILL receive far too much spam.

Nine times out of 10, I'll hit the delete button on spammers but, on certain occasions, I'll engage with the spammer to let them know:

– My name is Steve, and not Sweve or Stephan.
– My surname is Cody, and not Codey, Cory or Cod.
– My firm's name isn't Peppercorn, Peepercam or PeepeeCom.

On other occasions, the spammer is so badly misguided that I'll thank him for his inquiry, but tell him I'm simply not interested in placing an ad in Turkey's Defense & Security Magazine.

Knowing my predisposition to engage with the truly bizarre spammers of the virtual world, Ann Barlow, our West Coast manager, will often suggest one of her unwanted stalkers connect with me.

This just happened, and I thought I'd share the results.

Ann forwarded an inquiry from an outfit called Zeno Radio. The spammer wanted to know if we were interested in radio advertising targeting immigrant groups. Since we don't provide advertising services nor target immigrants of any kind, Ann thought the spammer was primed to be spammed.

I thanked her for the introduction to Zeno's Yossi Rossberg and told him that, while I would like to use his service to target immigrants, I was only interested in reaching height challenged ones.

That lit a fuse under Yossi's spamming butt. I'll let you read the exchange (and pay special attention to the growing list of individuals copied on the e-mails).

From: Yossi Rosenberg
To: Ann Barlow
Subject: Advertising Opportunities with ZenoRadio
Hi Ann,
I
noticed that your ad agency has some clients that target immigrants in
America. Our platform is a surefire way to target immigrants in America.

ZenoRadio
has hundreds of thousands of listeners a year from the African, Central
American and Asian diaspora who currently reside in America. We take
popular ethnic radio stations and attach them to an American phone
number. People do not need a smartphone to listen, but can listen using
any phone. The call is absolutely free. Ethnic cab drivers, security
guards, merchants and house wives in America listen to us for literally
tens of millions of minutes a month.

I would love to spend some time with you walking you through our backend.
Thanks, Yossi
____________________________________________________

From: Ann Barlow
To: Yossi Rosenberg
Cc: Steve Cody; Dandy Stevenson
Hi Yossi,
Thank
so much for reaching out. I'm copying Steve Cody, who runs our
immigrant relations practice.  I think he'd be very interested to know
more about ZenoRadio and your back end.

Best, Ann
____________________________________________________
From: Steve Cody
To: Yossi Rosenberg
I
am indeed, Yossi. That said, our particular area of expertise is
marketing to height-challenged immigrants which, if you'll excuse the
pun, is a growing market. Can you forward information that is size
appropriate?

Best,  Steve
____________________________________________________
From: Yossi Rosenberg
To: Steve Cody; badjoke@peppercomm.com; Dandy Stevenson; Ann Barlow
Our listeners from Senegal and Ghana average at about 5'1. Around 20% are little people and 10% are dwarfs
____________________________________________________
From: Steve Cody
To: Yossi Rosenberg
Nice. Just to be sure we're on the same page, how do you differentiate dwarfs from little people?
____________________________________________________
From: Yossi Rosenberg
To: Steve Cody
Cc: pompousprguy@peppercomm.com; arrogantprdude@peppercomm.com; Dandy Stevenson; Ann Barlow
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Dwarf_vs_Midget
____________________________________________________
From: Steve Cody
To: Yossi Rosenberg
Really interesting article. Thanks so much, Yossi.

I think the best way to deal with spammers who don't take the time, or effort, to understand your business is to waste THEIR time in a pointless, but funny, exchange.

It may take a few minutes, but I guarantee that neither Swede nor Stephan of Peppercorn, Peepercam or PeepeeCom will ever again hear from Zeno Radio.

3 thoughts on “Spamming the spammers

  1. Great job! Zenoradio guys are great liars. They make people quit their permanent job to work for their so called radio company by promising them an attractive salary. Beware, you will be fired after 3-4 months or may be even less. They illegally use many international radios in their system without acquiring any kind of permission from the original radio owners. They buy and collect phone numbers from many different companies and harrass these phone owners with continous unwanted calls!! Both illegal!!

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  3. Some of our spammers have recognized the back-and-forth for what it is and joined in on the fun. They’ve recognized that what they’re selling isn’t what we’re buying but didn’t take our poking fun at their emails seriously or personally. Then there are others like this guy and the one who recently sent a handwritten letter to say how much we had offended him. Ah well. Maybe just scrub your lists…