EX-CONGRESSDOG BLASTS RESEARCH THAT SHOWS POOCHES HAVE FEELINGS TOO

– Mick Cody announced his Canine Institute will launch a similar study to determine if humans possess intelligence

Lincroft, NJ, October 29, 2013 – Canine activist and former U.S. Congressdog, Mick Cody, today derided Emory University research that showed dogs have the same feelings as humans calling it, “demeaning, demoralizing and doggone stupid.”

Former Congressdog Mick Cody (foreground) relaxes with his master (center) and life partner, Rooney (right).

Former Congressdog Mick Cody (foreground) relaxes with his master (center) and life partner, Rooney (left).

The controversial Cody, who many call the Reverend Al Sharpton of the animal world, pawed at the finding as “…yet another example of species-baiting on the part of humans.”

The Emory research involved two dogs, whose reactions to various stimuli were examined while they were unrestrained and awake while inside an MRI machine (“Talk about animal abuse!” snarled the pooch politico.)

Researchers say they proved for the first time that canines possess the same ‘caudate’ section of the brain as do humans. The caudate activates “…when we anticipate things we enjoy, such as food or spending time with a loved one,” said the Emory egg heads.

Is human intelligence an oxymoron?

Relaxing on a couch in the family room of his former campaign headquarters, the pit bull said he’d fund similar research on humans:

“I’d like to examine the brains of Kim Kardashian, Snooki, Michael Vick, Miley Cyrus and Jets Coach Rex Ryan to see if they contain any semblance of intelligence,” snarled Cody. “And, if Cyrus even thinks about twerking during the MRI experiments, I’ll personally ensure she loses some very sensitive body parts,” yelped the country’s first elected canine.

Species-baiting

The disgraced ex-Congressdog charged the Emory researchers with species-baiting. “In its own way, the work at Emory is as insulting as some of the experiments performed on Rhesus Monkeys,” he said, “I can’t wait to reciprocate. After all, the bible does say, A tooth for a tooth.”

Cody first rose to prominence in the aftermath of the Michael Vick dog fighting scandal. He rode a tide of populist outrage to be voted the first U.S. Congressdog. He was later forced to resign in the aftermath of a sexting scandal involving a cat.

The controversial canine also hinted at a second round of human intelligence testing that would include the likes of the Tea Party’s Ted Cruz, former Vice President Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin. “I’ll bet a year’s supply of Beggin’ Strips we don’t find any sign whatsoever of brain activity in those nut jobs,” snapped Cody.

The former Congressdog ducked questions as to the source of the monies needed to fund his proposed research, saying, “I need to chase some squirrels and lift my leg. Later, amigos!”

3 thoughts on “EX-CONGRESSDOG BLASTS RESEARCH THAT SHOWS POOCHES HAVE FEELINGS TOO

  1. The former CongressDog appreciates your comment, Jeff. But, he has his sights and teeth set on a far loftier goal. He’s been spending a lot of time in Iowa and New Hampshire, whipping up a frenzy among registered canine voters in both states. I’m pleased to report Mick’s already received an endorsement from the uber-powerful Spayed & Neutered Canine Union.