– MiseryPlus launched in aftermath of fare increases and service cuts –

Newark, NJ, April 28, 2015 — New Jersey Transit, long known as one of the country’s worst commuter lines, today announced a revolutionary, incident-based rewards program aimed to surprise and delight new and long-term riders. The announcement comes in the wake of a nine percent fare hike and a significant cut in service.

traaansiotCalled MiseryPlus, the incident-based awards system is the first of its kind, according to John Senior, Jr., chief marketing officer of the embattled system.

“Most rewards programs are based on mileage or hotel stays,” said Senior. “But, we know our riders detest every minute of their NJT experience, so why not celebrate those who have suffered the most?” said Mr. Senior.

MiseryPlus will have three, incident-based rewards levels:

– Platinum: In order to achieve the platinum level, a rider will have had to experience more than 1,000 delays of an hour or more.

– Gold: Riders who can credibly claim having waited in a standing-room-only Penn Station corridor 500 times or more qualify.
– Rust: the first 250 riders who can produce doctor’s notes verifying they contracted a bacterial infection as a direct result of using the trains’ “Black Hole of Calcutta” restrooms qualify.

As for the actual rewards:

– MiseryPlus Platinum level riders will receive an all-expense-paid V.I.P weekend tour of Camden, NJ. “Camden is at its best in fall. Talk about romantic,” observed Senior.

– Gold members will be feted to a sumptuous, five-course meal at the Newark Penn Station Blimpie’s on St. Patrick’s Day. “St. Patty’s Day is always hellish on NJT thanks to our indifferent conductors who allow hordes of stone cold drunk teens to run up and down the aisle way unfettered. So, we thought we’d allow Gold members and the hooligans to get to know one another a little better over a hot dog and beer at 7:25am,” chuckled Senior.

– And, MiseryPlus Rust-level members will receive a guided tour of Rahway State Prison that will include one-on-one interaction with the inmates. “North Jersey Coast Line riders pass the prison every day without ever knowing the human side of the story. We think they’ll really bond with the guys during their full-day incarceration. I mean immersion,” Senior said.

The MiseryPlus awards program takes effect at midnight, May 1. Participation is limited solely to verified NJT riders.

New Jersey Transit is consistently rated as one of the country’s most hellacious transit systems. And, Transportation World has named NJT’s conductors as the worst of any commuter railroad in the country for seven years in a row. NJT believes in delivering on its decades-old tagline: “Getting you there (eventually).”

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