I’ve found the single, best way to stop spammers in their tracks, throw them a wicked Jake Arrieta-like curve ball and have them immediately delete you from their data base is to:

1.) Confirm your need for their services, however lame they may be, 2.) include two of your colleagues to not only escalate the immediacy of your need for the spammer’s totally unneeded product or service but, critically, validate said need, and, 3.) further whet the spammer’s appetite by encouraging my peers to provide personal, oft-times hilarious examples of how truly desperate we are.

Two end results almost always occur:  1.) The spammer eventually catches on, and laughs along with us. (Alternatively, she gets angrier than Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz for being labeled “Little” and “Lyin'”, respectively, by a certain schoolyard bully-type running for president.) and 2.) we’re deleted from the spammer’s spam list.

So, reading from the initial spam down, here’s the Peppercomm Players latest creative effort, entitled, “Fencing Out Spammers” Enjoy:

From Corey:
Hi Steven
To quote Five Man Electrical Band, “Hay, what gives you the right?
To put up a fence to keep me out or keep mother nature in
If God was here, He’d tell you to your face, man, you’re some kinda sinner”
Well, you are definitely some kinda sinner if you don’t use it for branding.  Fences are everywhere and many times they are not used to their full potential.
Fence Graphics, Dura Mesh – A great way to turn what is normally a boring looking security measure into a powerful branding tool. If you are not sure where to start, need some ideas, or just want to make some changes, give us a call.  800.790.7611.  We are BigSigns.com and are experts in making your projects come to life.  BIG is in our name and it is what we do with your brand.
We have the experience and knowledge to take your projects to the next level.
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From: Steve Cody
Corey: Your note really struck a chord among all of us.
Dandy Stevenson, my assistant, was in a serious, long-term relationship with the lead singer of the Five Man Electrical Band and, indeed, is given credit by many rock historians as having been the inspiration for the song’s lyrics.
In addition to being a superb account manager, Samuel Bruno is our resident expert on all things religion-related, and could weigh-in as to whether, in fact, God would call someone who fenced out The Five Man Electrical Band or fenced in Mother Nature a sinner.
Lastly, and more to the point of your note, Ann Barlow represents a huge ag-chem company that has charged her with finding unique ways in which to break through the clutter (or, weeds in this case) and generate more brand awareness. I have to believe  fence graphics would be an ideal, and unexpected, way in which to reach ranchers and growers (note: the key messages would need to be differently worded in order to connect with each audience).
So, I’d appreciate your contacting Ann ASAP and, if the spirit (pun intended) should move you, to call or e-mail Dandy, who might provide you with further insight into the lyrics that you, in turn, could leverage to further strengthen your already powerful value proposition.
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From: Ann Barlow
Think of the possibilities if Trump is elected and puts up his famous fence!! Our client could take over entire states of fencing!
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From: Dandy Stevenson
Steve is correct and I have gone from being a little disturbed about my connection with Les, but I’ve learned to embrace the wild oats I sowed, and ate and smoked with my main man of five man.

Used to joke that he was 5 men in one. Actually, do you know he had six toes on both feet?

Well, he used to… during one especially crazy drug filled morning, I cut off both extra toes and mailed them to Berry Gordy. He had denied my dear Les’ plea for a session.
(And, actually, this toe incident was later inspiration for the toe dismemberment in the Big Lebowski.)

Corey, have I got stories.   How many toes do YOU have ?

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Despite our best efforts to fence out the sign salesman, he actually believed us, and is passing along the “lead” to another salesman. C’est la vie.

That said, I do believe we’ve uncovered this spammer’s true calling in life: His whip-smart rhetoric in tandem with a razor-sharp analysis clearly qualifies him to be a delegate at this week’s Republican National Convention.