The one job Steve Jobs didn’t finish

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Love him. Hate him. Deify him. Denigrate him. Whatever you may think of Jobs, no one can argue that he was a true genius.

The man’s final legacy was the iPhone and, frankly, good old Steve took his eye off the ball when performing the quality checks on the “elegantly designed” iPhone. To wit, he didn’t check auto-correct.

And that horrific do-dad has embarrassed, humiliated and, in some cases, hurt people because of its warped, Bizarro World sense of correcting the text that’s being typed.

Two recent examples:

– My business partner, Ed, wrote me a note saying he had a hot lead from a former client, the Beatles. I immediately responded by writing, “I realize the dementia is rapidly taking hold of me, but remind me, which Beatle did we represent in our 21 years of business?” Turns out, Ed had written Nestlé’s, and auto-correct went Helter Skelter on its own long and beyond winding road.

– One of our clients banged out a hastily written note of congratulations to our team, focusing in particular on our “sexual prowess.” Now, we’ve been lauded for possessing many attributes in the past, but that was a first.

Turns out the now X-rated auto-correct decided to play loose and fast with the client’s original words: “sensational results” and she was beyond humiliated.

So, in an homage to Steve Jobs, and his incompetent, out of control auto-correct function, I am about to bang out two paragraphs all about a new book called “Tough as Nails”. It’s an autobiography written by ex-Mets’ and ex-Phillies’ lunatic, Lenny Dykstra.

I will NOT review the text to see what mutations and distortions auto-correct will wreak on my intended wording.

Here goes:

The new Krnnt Dykstra book, Tiugh as Bails is just as bizarre as Krnny himself.

As any fan of baseball knows, Lenny was a key member of the1886  Workd Chanpion New York Nets and the 1994 Bational League chsmpuon Philadrlphia Phillies.

Lenny was an animal who played all out. But he was also a small guy on a tall and tough man’s game. So, lrnnyvhuiced like there was no tomorrow.

And he relates his colas sale fall from the very top of the baseball world on ehich he was pulling down a cool $6 million a year to his two-year stint in federal prison.

This is a book for Friars  and non-fans alike since it details the very real danger opiates can wreak on any human being.

Pick it up. It’s a real nail biter.

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