I guess it's another sign of the bizarre times in which we live, but Al Qaeda just announced it's re-branding itself.
Trying to distance the heinous organization from its terrorism tag, Al Qaeda is now officially calling itself 'Ansar al-Sharia', which means Army of Islamic Law.
An organization official said the re-branding was necessary in order to attract more foreign fighters to the cause. An anonymous diplomat said the Al Qaeda name 'seems to have negative connotations and baggage'.
You think? That's like saying Hitler had some emotional issues.
I wonder if Ansar al-Sharia will also re-brand some of the Al Qaeda key words and tactics? Will:
– Jihad now be 'population redistribution'
– Suicide bombing now be 'a one-way ticket to 76 virgins'
– A roadside bombing now be called 'an infrastructure upgrade'
On a slightly lighter note (as the morning talk show buffoons like to say), Blackwater, the sleazy U.S. security firm to whom W, Cheney and Rummy handed over many Iraqi government tasks previously handled by Sadam Hussein's soldiers (and, then, went rogue, wiping out scores of innocent Iraqi civilians) announce its SECOND re-branding.
Initially, Blackwater had changed its name to Xe Services. Alas, though, their gung-ho, paramilitary culture was firmly entrenched. So, new management was put in place and a second name was announced: Academi. Are they now the 'institute of black ops'?
I'll be interested to see which re-branding proves more successful.
Being the altruistic blogger that I am, I'd like to help. In fact, I've devised taglines that, I believe, will speed the re-branding education process:
Ansar al-Sharia: 'Years of training for a moment of terror'
Academi: 'Kicking ass and taking names in puppet states'
I'd like to end by asking Repman readers to suggest their taglines for these two inherently evil organizations.
Many of you are PR and marketing specialists, so why not give it a shot?
I'll pick the funniest ones and, if you're in town the same day as one of my stand-up comedy performances, will give you two free tickets for a show.
Maybe we can even discuss a re-branding for Repman? FYI, I'd like something that is synonymous with pure fun.
And a tip o' Repman's climbing helmet to Tucker Greco for suggesting this post.