RepMan

Holy brand extension!

How about Pope Benedict XVI's bold and brash end run on the Anglican Church and the archbishop of Canterbury? In case you missed it, the Pope just made a special offer to Anglicans who had grown disaffected with that church's decidedly liberal stance on female priests and openly gay bishops by extending membership in the one, true Church (as the nuns used to like to say).

From a brand extension perspective, the Pope made a very cagey move. Church membership is rapidly eroding, especially in First World countries. So, deciding that the best defense is a good offense, Pope Benedict tries to take market share away from a weaker sibling: the Anglican church. Talk about Machiavellian!

This was front page news in the U.S. However, RepMan Freelance Correspondent Carl "Union Jack" Foster says it barely caused a ripple across the pond. "In a country where the Head of the Church of England is also the Head of State, Britain is a decidedly non-religious place. Coverage of the Pope's move has been reported but it isn't riding high. Look at the homepages of the major newspaper websites and you won't find the story. I presume stories about swine flu vaccinations, postal strikes and celebrity fashion slips are more newsworthy because they got more clicks."

Blasé Brits aside, I find the Pope's move disturbing from a number of image and reputation standpoints:

- By inviting the far right wing conservative branch of the Anglican Church to join the RCC, he has, de facto, moved the latter's philosophy even further right.
- By becoming ever more conservative, the Church is being anything but 'Catholic' and, rather, re-positioning itself in a neo-conservative box that will surely hamper future recruiting efforts for priests, nuns and, of course, congregants.

Brand building depends upon authenticity and transparency. The Church's original mission embraced piety, humility and an openness to all views and perspectives. Clearly, something went awry along the way. In fact, I think Sarah Silverman's recent suggestion that the Pope sell the Vatican and end world hunger with the proceeds makes more sense than the Anglican brand extension (Note: This video contains R-rated material).

Having laid siege to disaffected Anglicans, what religion is next in Pope Benedict's brand extension campaign? Today Anglicans. Tomorrow the world!

Father Cutie's cutie forces right decision

This former alter boy is psyched to see Roman Catholic priest Alberto Cutie walk away from the absurdities of the Church's celibacy rule and, girlfriend in hand, move to the Episcopalian faith.

It's a big deal since Cutie is extremely high profile and known as Miami's 'Father Oprah.' He was beloved by parishioners, but caught making out in public with his girlfriend. And, that's a no-no for a Catholic priest. So, the Church gave him an ultimatum: ditch the woman or the faith.

Rather than walk away from his natural feelings and the love of his life, Father Cutie instead turned his back on celibacy and the Catholic Church. And, I say 'Bravo!'

Church leaders established celibacy in the Middle Ages to prevent married priests from passing down their accumulated wealth to the next generation. They wanted the money to stay right where it was: in the church coffers.

Celibacy is simply not a natural state of life. In my opinion, it's also the root cause of the Church's long-standing problems with pedophilia. Celibacy attracts men who want to be with other men and, sadly, with little boys as well.

As a current non-practicing Catholic, I applaud Father Cutie's move. I hope he and his cutie have a happy and healthy life ahead. As for the Church, this is yet another image and reputation setback for an institution that is badly out of sync with the realities of the modern world.

The Pope comes with a message, but does he leave with followers?

Steve and Ted sit down with guests Darryl Salerno and Dawn Lauer to discuss the Pope’s recent visit to the states. 

The discussion centers on the Pope’s recent delivery of the message of the Catholic Church and how it resonates with the people in the states.

Was the pope’s visit a success from an image and reputation standpoint? Did the press favor him in news coverage?

Judging the success of a CEOs trip

Intent on shoring up a slow, but steady decline in one of his most important markets, a CEO recently paid it a whirlwind visit.

He met with prospective and existing customers as well as those who had chosen one of several competitive models. He also set aside time to hold a few job interviews and made it clear he was not only CEO, but director of human resources as well. The local media followed his every move in their best paparazzi imitation, prompting some to wonder what all the fuss was about.

The CEO followed textbook crisis communications by apologizing for past product flaws and suggested a new quality control process to lessen the likelihood of such issues in the future.

There was a lot of positive buzz swirling about as the CEO made his departure from the key market: his meetings had gone well, media coverage was universally positive and early indications hinted at possible market share improvements which, after all, was the trip's purpose in the first place.

But, the Catholic Church's two fundamental flaws, celibacy and pedophilia, remain in place, with the harsh restrictions of the first paving the way for the pernicious reality of the second.  Papal visits remind me of client retreats: everyone gets together for a short while, drinks the corporate Kool-Aid, get all charged up and then return to their jobs with absolutely nothing having changed.

It was nice to host the pope but, until he changes the basic dogma, this trip will be judged at best as a short-term marketing success. Your eminence, you need to work with the product engineers to fix the system. Then, and only then, can marketing really deliver on future visits to key markets.

Travel agents, tollbooth attendants and now Catholic priests

It's easy to see why career opportunities are less than ideal for travel agents and tollbooth attendants. Technology is literally wiping both off the face of the earth.

But, when it comes to 'other worldly' matters, who would have guessed that priests may become an endangered species? A new survey by Milan's Catholic University revealed 60 percent of Italian Catholics no longer go to confession. Thirty percent see no need for an 'intermediary' and another 20 percent feel uncomfortable with the priests' role as middleman between the sinner and God.

The Milan survey comes as no surprise. After decades of scandals involving the priesthood, why should anyone feel comfortable opening up in a confessional? In fact, 'confession-avoidance' is a classic cause-and-effect of the Church's poor image and reputation.

But, with the confessional becoming less and less popular, I wonder how priests will spend their free time? Maybe the Garden State Parkway Authority is still accepting resumes for their few remaining tollbooth attendant openings?

Thanks to Greg Schmalz for the idea.

When the spirit moves you

There's a new poll just in time for Halloween that says Catholics and those who never attend religious services are most likely to report ghost sightings. That's bad news for those of us who are NPCs (or, non-practicing Catholics).

I'll bet if I am visited by a ghost tonight, it'll be nasty, old, boy-bashing Sister Catherine Imelda. She scared the bejesus out of me when she was alive, and I'll bet the afterlife hasn't mellowed her any.

Getting back to the survey, it quizzed more than 1,000 Americans on everything from spirits and superstition to magic and UFOs.

It turns out that women are more superstitious than men about believing in the charm of four-leaf clovers, Democrats more than Republicans over opening umbrellas indoors and liberals more than conservatives when it came to a groom seeing his bride before a wedding.

You can't keep a good man down

Well, those oh-so-randy Catholic priests are at it again. Word from Italy has it that a high-ranking Vatican priest was caught on video romancing a boy he'd met on a homosexual web site. Oh dear.

The priest, Monsignor Tommaso Stenico, denied any culpability. Instead, he claims to have been conducting research into '...people who are involved in a Satanic plot to discredit the Church by seducing priests into homosexuality.’ Oh baby. Talk about straining credulity.

The Catholic Church has huge image and reputation problems because:

A) It covers up incidents like this one (which broke on an Italian television network) and...

B) Their basic model is broken. As many others have said, celibacy isn't natural and tends to attract men who prefer the company of other men (and young boys).

It really is sad to see yet another Church meltdown. But, until the Vatican powers that be wake up to the realities of the modern world and their own bankrupt system, we'll continue to see more and more instances of lecherous guys like Monsignor Tommaso being ousted.

Thanks to Tommy Powers for the idea.

Jesus Christ, super salesman

That guy from Galilee is back again. This time He's a super salesman for a new line of red and white wines called, what else?  'The Grapes of Galilee.’

Yes, Jesus Christ, super salesman, is back. Or at least, his name and likeness are back on the labels of everything from chardonnay, cabernet sauvignon and merlot. The importer said he'll be targeting the 'holy water' to Catholics for the upcoming holiday season. “This is a wine for a special occasion like Christmas dinner. It will be a big talker,” said Pini Haroz.

Well, it's got me talking. And, personally, I find it distasteful (the promotion. Not the wine. I haven't sampled the vino yet).

Using Christ to push alcohol is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Especially considering the historical Jesus was all about poverty, humility, etc. Sure, he changed water to wine, but that was a one-time gig as I recall.

Anyway, I think Christ would be royally pissed at this misuse of His name and image.  In fact, I could see a modern Christ rampaging through the local liquor stores on Christmas Eve and breaking any bottles with his likeness on the cover (a la His assault on the moneychangers in the temple).

I'm sure Christ savored a good wine as much as the next savior. But, I'll bet He would gag if he saw how Pini Haroz, wine importer, was 'crossing' the line.

An exit ramp marked common sense

Every now and then, I make a point of catching one of the Sunday morning televangelists.

Ordinarily, I avoid them like the plague because:

      a) I'm not a fundamentalist Christian and
      b) too many televangelists take advantage of the poor and uneducated elements of society to pad their own pockets.

Nonetheless, I felt adventurous, did some channel surfing and landed on Joel Osteen's teleministry.

If you haven't caught Joel's act, he's worth checking out. Osteen's not only right out of central casting (think Burt Lancaster in 'Elmer Gantry'), but he also provides some of the more laughable personal anecdotes available anywhere.

Sunday morning, for example, Joel told his virtual and physical congregants that he'd almost missed the taping. Seems he'd been caught in a massive traffic jam among mere mortals. But, being an appointed prophet, Joel felt the hand of God on his shoulder. And, like Moses parting the Red Sea, God apparently parted the gridlock ahead of Preacher Osteen enabling him to make it to his state-of-the-art Church just in the nick of time. Phew, that was close!

Pardon me, Joel, but I don't buy it. I don't think 'He' looked down from on high, spied a man of God stuck in traffic and, with a wave of His hand, made the other cars give way.

And, yet, as the cameras scanned the assembled multitudes, I could see heads nodding, lips murmuring and other signs of an enraptured faithful buying Brother Osteen's story hook, line and sinker.

I'm sure Joel does lots of good works for lots of people, but he's also one of those 'God helps those who help themselves' televangelists (think Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker).  In fact, as soon as Joel had finished his 'parting of the Red Sea' traffic story and taken a commercial break, a 'pre-recorded Joel' came on to hawk his new book, which not only contains seven tips for living a more spiritual life but, praise the lord, will be available for purchase as soon as October.

The faithful will undoubtedly plunk down their hard-earned wages and buy Joel's book. But, I honestly don't understand where his street cred comes from. In my opinion, well-heeled, smooth-talking, multimillionaire televangelists like Joel distort many of Christ's teachings.

Whatever happened to: 'Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.'? Guess they're still stuck in Joel's traffic jam. Not me, though. I'm taking that next exit ramp marked, "common sense."

I knew Jesus Christ was a superstar, but this is something else

Leave it to the Catholic Church (or, some entrepreneurial Catholic) to take product merchandising to a higher level. Click on Catholicshopper.com and check out statuettes of the one and only Jesus Christ participating in everything from ice hockey and basketball to ballet and track & field.

Seemingly unencumbered by his long white robe and sandals, we see a buffed 'jock' Christ in such acts as:

- rejecting a basketball shot by a poor unsuspecting kid

- in the midst of an intense ice hockey face-off (question: would Christ throw down the gloves and take part in one of those nasty fights that mar every match?)

-helping a future Barry Bonds with his baseball swing -and my personal favorite, 'Tiki' Christ taking a hand-off from one kid while another is wrapping his arms around the Savior's legs to sack him.

Everything about this is just so wrong that it leaves one virtually speechless. But, rather than comment on how poorly GI Joe-like action figures reflect on the Church and its image, let's think of the chalice being half-full and dream up some line extensions and partnerships.