Tag Archives: cats

Dec 02

Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs

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In effort to compete with the brand new reality show from the Sundance Channel called ‘Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys’, The Canine Network (TCN) today announced it would be airing its first reality show, Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs …. (A Species Apart).
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I recently caught up with the show’s creator, co-producer and star, Mick  Cody. Mick had just finished a strenuous backyard workout with his mom and was having his muddy paws cleaned as we began our chat…

Rep: ‘Mick, thanks again for finding time to meet with me. Man, are you ever panting!’
Mick: ‘Yup. My mom really puts me through my paces. She’s a personal trainer.’
Rep: ‘So I’ve heard. So, tell me about your new reality show, Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs …. (A Species Apart).
Mick: ‘Sure. The impetus was human reality TV programming. My co-producer, Rooney Cody and I are totally really fed up with it. This latest nonsense about girls who like boys who like boys was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or, the stick that broke the dog’s back, if you prefer. So, we decided to produce a program that would simultaneously mock human reality shows while taking the entire genre to a whole new level.’
Rep: ‘Do tell.’
Mick: ‘I’d need a Beggin’ Strip to do that.’
Rep: ‘Damn. How many of those things do you down in a day? Fine. Here. And, lay down. You’re still panting heavily.’
Mick: (now stretched out comfortably in front of a roaring fireplace): ‘Human reality shows have gone so far beyond bizarre that they leave me speechless (literally). I mean I can respond to your command to speak, but I can’t speak per se.’
Rep: ‘I get your point. Please stay on subject.’
Mick: Sorry. Well, I mean, who cares about girls who like boys who like boys? Boys who like boys who like girls? Gimme a break. And, gimme another bone while you’re at it. Anyway, we’ve decided to go far beyond mere hetero/homo/transgender content and elevate the programming to a new level: trans species content. That’s why we’re using the subtitle: “A Species Apart.” I always loved that old Merrill Lynch tagline.’
Rep: ‘It’s bold and brash to be sure. Can you give us an idea of the plot?’
Mick: It’ll be fashioned along the lines of The Jersey Shore which, as you know, is the only TV reality show Rooney and I will watch with you. It’ll be set in our back yard. Rooney and I will have different monikers: I’m JMick and Rooney is FleaMan. We invite cats to our crib and then treat them like the scum they are. Instead of calling the ugly ones grenades, though, we’ll call them Furballs.’
Rep: ‘You have some real issues with cats, don’t you?’
Mick: ‘They serve no purpose whatsoever and are arrogant, egotistical asses. Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs will reveal the sleazy underbelly of the cat world. It’ll be positively groundbreaking. And, speaking of ground-breaking, I need to go out again. Would you mind?’
Rep: ‘Not at all. Best of luck with Cats Who Like Dogs Who Like Dogs. I’d use the old showbiz expression ‘break a leg,’ but I know that can be fatal with canines.’

Jun 16

Mick Cody announces new, political party; calls ‘Animals Matter’ America’s first serious third party movement since days of Teddy Roosevelt and the Bull Moose

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Lincroft, NJ, June 16, 2010 – Noted animal rights activist, Mick Cody (who also happens to be an
Dogs animal) announced today he was forming a new, third political party to be named Animals Matter. Calling it America's first serious third party since 1912 when Theodore Roosevelt split the Republican vote with his Bull Moose movement and handed the election to Democrat Woodrow Wilson, Cody says Animals Matter is the ultimate grass roots movement. 'We don't just represent grass roots ideas, we eat the damn things daily.”

Cody says Animals Matter is a direct response to the complete ineptness of humans to solve man-made problems. “In my short lifetime, I've witnessed house pets dying in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, pit bulls being savaged by Michael Vick and dolphins washing ashore on the beaches of Alabama courtesy of BP. We believe animals can do a better job,” he barked. Mick said Animals Matter will also provide a platform for animals of all kinds to posit their views on the ecological damage being wreaked by man.

“We welcome the siren calls of whales, the howls of coyotes and, yes, even the meows of cats,” said Mick. “We live, eat and breathe inclusiveness.”

Cody said Animals Matter intends to place candidates on tickets during the upcoming midterm elections and that he, himself, is weighing a run at the Presidency in 2010. “Look, Reagan was over 70 when he won in 1980. I'll be 10 in 2012. That's pretty much the same age. If Dutch can do it, why can't I?” he whined.

Cody acknowledged the need for a balanced ticket in order to attract voters in 2012. “I've appointed my long-time chief of staff, Rooney Cody, to head an exploratory committee to find the right VP. I'm looking for a savvy sea otter, a cunning chimp or maybe even an energizing eagle. Any of the above could easily whip Sarah Palin in an IQ test,” he whimpered.

Animals Matter is temporarily headquartered in the Cody backyard, which has been renamed the 'Animal Farm.' Mick says his nascent party is accepting contributions in the form of checks, money orders and dog treats.

“We will take back the environment from mankind. I may not live long enough to join my fellow animals in the Promised Land, but I've been to the top of the mountain and I've seen what lies ahead. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord,” Mick growled.

Animals Matter is a non-profit organization created to advocate on behalf of animals everywhere. For more information, please call 1-800-B-A-R-K-I-N-G or go to www.mickispissed.canine.