A just-released survey of 3,000 grade school teachers by parenting group Bounty.com shows that instructors do, in fact, judge a book by its cover. The survey asked teachers if they can identify naughty, nice, popular or bright students in advance simply by reading their names on the classroom register. The answer is a resounding, ‘Yes!’

Researchers discovered that teachers keep an eye out for boys with names like Jack, Callum or Connor and girls named Chelsea, Courtney and Chardonnay (Who would name their kid after a type of wine? ‘Oh, Pinot Noir? Time for dinner, hon.’).

Conversely, teachers say they look forward to meeting boys named Alexander, Adam and Christopher and girls named Elisabeth, Charlotte and Emma. Those six names topped the list for ‘brightest’ school kids.

Life is tough enough without being pre-judged based upon one’s name. But, the survey shows that, like the rest of us, teachers tend to react with their hearts rather than their heads when it comes to anticipating a child’s performance.

All of which bodes ill for Little Jack Moed as he moves through the Montclair, NJ, school system. That said, his old man is a tough, smart dude so I’m sure Jack will do just fine. I do have my doubts, though, about some of the other kids named on the top 10 ‘naughtiest’ list. Jake and Liam sound like they’re already spoiling for a fistfight and Demi has ‘drama queen’ written all over her. I wonder how Dick and Jane or John and Mary would fare in these lists?