May 17

Heaven couldn’t wait

Porn Found In Bin Laden CompoundHow about Osama bin Laden and his henchmen turning out to be porn addicts? 

Now, ain't that a kick in the head? Or groin, if you prefer.

According to published reports, the Navy Seals discovered a massive amount of pornographic DVDs and other materials in bin Laden's compound. Holy Islam, Batman. What up with that? Note: I saw one Islam watcher on MSNBC who quoted a popular expression in bin Laden Land to the effect, “When you are away from Mecca, Allah is blind.” That must be the terrorist version of 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.'

Anyway, since the government won't release the actual names of the titles in bin Laden's porn collection, I thought I'd take a guess at what he dialed up on those cold and lonely Pakistani evenings:

– 'Debbie does Abbottabad'
– 'The Western Devil in Ms. Jones'
– 'Deep Turban'

Bin Laden's porn penchant presents a tricky image and reputation problem for al Qaeda. The late global terrorist was noted for his ascetic lifestyle, spirituality and, above all, hatred of the 'American Whore'. And, one of his value-adds to the faithful who bought into his warped view and were willing to become martyrs for the cause was the promise of 72 virgins awaiting them in paradise.

Oops. I guess Osama came from the 'Do what I say not what I do' school of terrorism.

I'm not suggesting those three score and 12 ladies aren't still chilling in paradise waiting to please the latest Jihadist. But, for Osama bin Laden, it sure seems like heaven couldn't wait. And this blogger can't wait to see how al Qaeda spins this story. How much do you want to bet they'll be accusing the Seals of planting the porn? Yeah, sure.  So how will they explain the popcorn and Johnny Jihad Blue Label whiskey lying alongside the videos?