Tag Archives: Sarah Palin

Jun 16

Mick Cody announces new, political party; calls ‘Animals Matter’ America’s first serious third party movement since days of Teddy Roosevelt and the Bull Moose

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Lincroft, NJ, June 16, 2010 – Noted animal rights activist, Mick Cody (who also happens to be an
Dogs animal) announced today he was forming a new, third political party to be named Animals Matter. Calling it America's first serious third party since 1912 when Theodore Roosevelt split the Republican vote with his Bull Moose movement and handed the election to Democrat Woodrow Wilson, Cody says Animals Matter is the ultimate grass roots movement. 'We don't just represent grass roots ideas, we eat the damn things daily.”

Cody says Animals Matter is a direct response to the complete ineptness of humans to solve man-made problems. “In my short lifetime, I've witnessed house pets dying in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, pit bulls being savaged by Michael Vick and dolphins washing ashore on the beaches of Alabama courtesy of BP. We believe animals can do a better job,” he barked. Mick said Animals Matter will also provide a platform for animals of all kinds to posit their views on the ecological damage being wreaked by man.

“We welcome the siren calls of whales, the howls of coyotes and, yes, even the meows of cats,” said Mick. “We live, eat and breathe inclusiveness.”

Cody said Animals Matter intends to place candidates on tickets during the upcoming midterm elections and that he, himself, is weighing a run at the Presidency in 2010. “Look, Reagan was over 70 when he won in 1980. I'll be 10 in 2012. That's pretty much the same age. If Dutch can do it, why can't I?” he whined.

Cody acknowledged the need for a balanced ticket in order to attract voters in 2012. “I've appointed my long-time chief of staff, Rooney Cody, to head an exploratory committee to find the right VP. I'm looking for a savvy sea otter, a cunning chimp or maybe even an energizing eagle. Any of the above could easily whip Sarah Palin in an IQ test,” he whimpered.

Animals Matter is temporarily headquartered in the Cody backyard, which has been renamed the 'Animal Farm.' Mick says his nascent party is accepting contributions in the form of checks, money orders and dog treats.

“We will take back the environment from mankind. I may not live long enough to join my fellow animals in the Promised Land, but I've been to the top of the mountain and I've seen what lies ahead. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord,” Mick growled.

Animals Matter is a non-profit organization created to advocate on behalf of animals everywhere. For more information, please call 1-800-B-A-R-K-I-N-G or go to www.mickispissed.canine.

Apr 26

From colostomy bags to Sarah Palin

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RepChatter co-host Ted ‘Ludacris’ Birkhahn and I recently played host to Andy Sullivan, creator of bluecollarcorner.com and one of the founders of Tea Party 365.

Andy proved to be a worthy foil to Ted’s far left wing, pro big government sentiments as he made a solid, if somewhat disjointed, plea for a return to the way we were. As you’ll hear, Andy waxes poetic on everything from the peace-loving nature of Tea Party members to a prediction that Sarah Palin will fool everyone and waltz into the Oval Office in 2012. I’m not sure what inspired him to insert walkers and colostomy bags in the discussion, but the bluecollarguy promised a no holds barred chat and certainly delivered.

I hope you enjoy the podcast. Do me a favor and post your thoughts and/or follow-up questions for Andy. Andy, in turn, has promised to forward the link to the Tea Party universe, so this could get very interesting. One final note: Andy has agreed to do another RepChatter podcast on the eve of the 2010 midterm elections. We’d like to match him with a more knowledgeable and strident liberal spokesperson than Ted and would welcome your thoughts.

Apr 21

The S.S. RepChatter sails into unchartered waters

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Since its origins a few years back, RepChatter, the bastard podcast offspring of RepMan, has bravely sailed through turbulent waters to examine such controversial issues as:

– The relevance of the Catholic Church (with guest Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League)
– The very existence of God (with guests Darryl Salerno and Dawn Lauer arguing nay and yay, respectively)
– Toyota’s self-inflicted wounds (with a top Fordham professor)

First Officer Ted ‘Ludacris’ Birkhahn and I have navigated these controversial and often heated discussions with our usual combination of bluster, bravado and complete ignorance (we’ve also ducked and covered when things have gotten totally out of hand. Listen to the Salerno v. Lauer podcast and you’ll know what I mean. But, Ted and I must admit to a certain trepidation in anticipation of our upcoming podcast with Andy Sullivan.

April 21 Andy, you see, manages public relations for bluecollarcorner.com, and is one of the Tea Party’s 365 founding members. To say that Tea Party members are outspoken is like saying the Rolling Stones occasionally tore up hotel rooms in their heyday. The S.S. RepChatter will be sailing straight into a Category Five hurricane named Andy.

To prepare for the epoch-making event, I’ve boned up on the Tea Party and studied the recent CBS News/New York Times poll. As most of you know, the Tea Party’s goal is to reduce the role of the federal government in our lives. That I knew. What I didn’t know was their make-up. The average Tea Party member watches Fox News (Surprise. Surprise). Most are men. Nine in 10 are white. Half describe themselves as middle class. Three in four are age 45 or older. Nearly three-fourths consider themselves conservative (another ‘no duh’) and 39 percent identify themselves as evangelicals (So, I have to believe they aren’t fans of Darryl Salerno’s P.O.V. on God). They despise Obama and the current Congress and adore W and Sarah Palin (although most don’t think the erstwhile Alaska governor should run for president). Last, but not least, nearly 60 percent keep a gun in their households (which is why we’ve asked Andy to join us by phone as opposed to in-studio).

I plan to ask Andy a whole range of questions, including:

– How come you dig Sarah, but don’t think she belongs in the Oval Office?
– What’s with all the guns?
– Is Fox News really ‘fair and balanced’ as advertised?
– Describe the ideal society
– Do a bunch of middle-aged white guys really represent the views of the average Americans (Some 84 percent of Tea Party members say they do)

I’ll have other questions based upon Andy’s responses. And, I’m sure the Ludacris one will weigh in with his usual few non sequiturs. But, what about you? What questions would you like me to ask Andy? Let me know and I’ll be sure to represent my constituents. As for now, it’s full steam ahead. First Officer Birkhahn: be on the alert for icebergs.