My mom is in the intensive care unit of a New Jersey heart hospital called Deborah (da-BOR-uh).
To say that Deborah is inaccessible would be akin to equating a climb of Mt. Everest to a walk in the park. Located somewhere deep in the bowels of the Garden State’s Pine Barrens, Deborah is almost impossible to find. Major arteries such as the Turnpike and Parkway are at least 25 miles away, leaving the driver to maneuver back roads through a dense, thickly forested area known as the Pine Barrens. At several points on the ride, I half expected cast members from the movie ‘Deliverance’ to emerge from the underbrush.
Two major military installations, Fort Dix and McGuire Air Force Base, are in the vicinity, and add to the surreal feeling. So while one winds his way around yet another hidden curve, a group of Humvees carrying battle-ready G.I’s can come barreling out of the foliage at any time. And, then there are the F-15 fighter jets who, like their ground-based allies, simply appear out of nowhere, skimming the treetops at a deafening Mach 2.0.
By the time one finally arrives at Deborah Hospital, a stiff drink is the first order of business.
So, here’s hoping that the absurdly remote locale is more than justified and the heart specialists on staff are as good as advertised. Borrowing from the time-worn slogan, ‘With a name like Smucker’s, it has to be good,’ I’d suggest the marketing folks at Deborah adopt something like, ‘With a location as alien and inaccessible as Deborah’s, the heart care has to be the best.’ Or, at least, I’m certainly hoping it is.