Ever try opening a bag of Purina cat food? I'm talking about the big bags made of 'dura-weave' and boasting to be tear resistant. They're tear resistant all right. Probably nuclear bomb resistant as well.
The bag comes equipped with an innocent-looking white string one is instructed to pull to open. Trust me, it doesn't work. In fact, it doesn't even budge. Nothing. No forward progress whatsoever. It's the stubborn mule of the innocent white string world.
So, anxious to feed one's cats, one selects, instead, a knife, screwdriver or, in one extreme case, a pair of hedge clippers to pry open the impregnable bag.
Inevitably, one of two things happens:
– I gash my hand (I'm currently sporting a nasty cut on my left index finger caused by punching the damn bag in frustration).
– When the bag is finally pried open, its contents spill all over the floor. So, one is left sweeping up piles of unwanted cat food.
I'm not sure why the folks at Purina encase their precious cat food in such an impossible-to-open bag. Is it some sort of reverse psychology to jump start a cat owner's exercise program? A way to further ensure the already hungry cat is positively starving by the time its owner rips open the Fort Knox of pet food?
I think Purina has created something very special here and shouldn't limit the dura-weave technology to the pet food category. Why not partner with the military, TSA and other defense sector prospects?
I'd put my money on the Purina dura-weave in a showdown with the average flak jacket any day of the week. This stuff would stop a bazooka shell in its tracks.
And, from an image and reputation standpoint, I'd embrace the bag's Rocky Balboa-like machismo by borrowing an old Ford truck tag line. How does 'Built Purina tough' sound to you? It certainly rings true to this cat owner.
In the meantime, though, I need to do battle with the new bag. I'm ready this time, though. I've got my wife's gardening gloves to protect my damaged hands and a razor sharp box cutter. Hey, Purina Cat Chow bag: 'let's get ready to rumble!