I’ve despised Ronald McDonald ever since the fast-food chain first introduced him in 1963 (the same year JFK was assassinated. Coincidence?).
At first, the clown merely scared me in a way that future CEOs would. There was just something about him that sent shivers up and down my spine.
Then, as I came of age, my still-forming marketing mind struggled to figure out the strategic connection between a fast food chain and the doppelgänger of Stephen King’s ‘It’.
Decade-after-decade, I cringed as I watched helplessly on the sidelines as Ronald lured low-income parents and their unsuspecting kids into SuperSized dens of food iniquity.
Well, guess what? There is a god after all.
McDonald’s just announced that, in the wake of the truly creepy clown attacks that are terrorizing the entire globe, McDonald’s will be LIMITING Ronald’s personal appearances. That’s the best news I’ve heard since the release of the Access: Hollywood audio tapes!
While I despise terrorism in every form (especially in the work force), I’m hoping against hope the worldwide clown attacks will finally force Mickey D’s marketing geniuses to wake-up and severe ties with the devious and deceptive Ronald.
If I were to hazard a guess, I’d wager that damn clown is single-handedly responsible for causing millions of Americans to jeopardize their health and well being while “innocently” enticing a whole new generation of kids to stuff their mouths full of empty calories. It’s not just unethical; it’s morally reprehensible.
So, here’s hoping the clowns have killed the clown. It’s time for a great American brand to step-up and select a corporate icon that sends a positive health and wellness message to a country in desperate need of one.
But, let’s face facts. Will McDonald’s ever drop Ronald? That’s like asking if the Jets will ever win another Super Bowl.