I happened to stumble across a book I’d brought home from a long-ago PRSA Counselors Academy event entitled, "More Anguished English." It’s written by Richard Lederer and contains chapter after chapter of hilarious hijacks of the English language.

For example, a job seeker wrote on her application: "I have an obsession for detail. I like to make sure I cross my I’s and dot my t’s."

A history student submitted an essay that contained this gem: "Pompeii was destroyed by an overflow of saliva from the Vatican."

And there was this beaut from a local newspaper: "This is the time of year when all the policemen and firemen hold their balls."

There are nearly 200 pages of laugh out loud malaprops. I found the book especially relevant since I come across quite a few malaprops in my e-mail in-box. The most recent involved an inquiry as to whether we’d create a ‘horse-and-pony’ show for a prospective client. Malaprops in a business setting are, sadly, no laughing matter. They reflect poorly on the individual as well as his or her firm. In severe instances, repeated grammatical and syntax sins can actually jeopardize client relationships.

I’d been planning to compile some of the more egregious malaprops that I’ve come across and write my own handbook. But, Mr. Lederer seems to have cornered the market. Oh well, maybe I’ll focus instead on the funniest new business gaffes I’ve witnessed. For example, I can still picture a former associate heatedly gesturing to make a point in front of a large group of prospects, only to knock a presentation board with such force that it literally took flight and ended up clear across the room. And, then there was the time an associate inadvertently spilled a steaming hot cup of coffee on the lap of a senior prospective client executive. To be sure, neither incident went over very well. In fact, both ended up derailing otherwise well crafted "horse and pony shows."

Chris ‘Repman, Jr.’ Cody, home for the Thanksgiving break, shared an interesting insight yesterday as we watched a bizarre McDonald’s commercial during a break in the Jets game. In the spot, one incredibly attractive young lady after another enter a guy’s apartment for a party where McDonald’s take-out food is being served.

A self-proclaimed man-about-town, Repman, Jr., was skeptical of the commercial, saying most guys  his age abhor kissing a girl who has just eaten a McDonald’s product. In fact, he says the ‘after taste’ of a quarter pounder is even worse than that of a cigarette. How ’bout that?

Chris’s observation was Interesting, but not surprising. On the rare occasions when I eat at McDonald’s or Burger King, I find myself immediately lamenting the fact and feeling the need for a cleansing shower.

Which got me thinking. If other young men (and women) feel so strongly about kissing someone who has just consumed a quarter pounder or Big Mac, maybe McD’s should think about a smart, in-store partnership with, say, Lavoris. That would solve the Chris Cody issue and still allow McDonald’s patrons to eat to their hearts’ content. And, speaking of hearts and heart disease, what about another McDonald’s partnership with a heart-healthy product? Dark chocolate, maybe? Red wine? What a great meal combo that would make: "Yes, I’d like the quarter-pounder with cheese, a glass of Pinot Noir and some heart-healthy dark chocolate. And, that’s to go, please.

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety just released its annual list of the safest cars to drive.  And, guess, what? There isn’t a single American-made car among the top 13 models in the large, midsized or small categories.

Frankly, I’m not surprised. In fact, it’s not even a big story anymore. Years ago, it might have been. But, Detroit’s image and reputation have taken such a beating that, collectively, the Big Three are seen as little more than road kill on the automotive global highway.

How does Detroit expect to forestall further inroads by the Toyotas of the road when they still can’t get it right from a safety standpoint? I, for one, don’t go near American cars. Detroit lost me 20 years ago and, based upon these scores, it will be at least another two decades before I pay them any attention.

Detroit’s plight is a great example of the best marketing, advertising and PR in the world not being able to overcome the handicap of a bad product. Spend as much as you like, Detroit. But, if the cars remain bogus, so will your sales figures. Until and unless the Big Three start consistently producing quality cars, they’ll stay in the rear-view mirrors of Toyota, Honda and other foreign manufacturers.

Thanks to Dave Mandell for this idea.